In Conclusion...

...2007 was a mess. A car wreck. A bumbling, stumbling amateur ballet, with me trying to clumsily pierroett my way across an uneven stage. Man oh man did I suck this year. Nothing but disappointments and wrongdoings and stupidity.

The upside? There were a few. Even though I didn't publish as many books as I wanted (Damn you Honorless Dogs!), the books I did produce I was pretty proud of. Also, I did fairly well on the Convention Circuit this year. I'm nowhere near a profit yet, but I did okay. I also helped produce a bunch of videos for Bro's band, the Dr. Orphyus Project, and I'm proud of that work as well. Other than that, Boolah got married off, and Bro moved into his newly acquired house. So, I guess the year wasn't a total loss.

Addendums:

On my Top Movie List I Totally Forgot:

10. Hot Fuzz- Simon Pegg and Edger Wright return with a killer follow up to their previous film, "Shaun of the Dead". Fuzz is a loving satire of every good and bad action movie ever made (especially and inexplicably Point Break and Bad Boys 2). Funny, gory, bullety, and not just a retread of "Shaun". Great stuff.

As for next year...

...I don't wanna talk about it yet. I've got plans, but if 2007 taught me anything, it's that plans tend to blow up in my face. "Honorless Dogs" will see completion eventually (really), and then we'll see where we go from there.

2007 Year in Review: Comics

Yeesh. Year's almost over, and I've still got some more things to look back on. So, here's what I thought about comics in 2007. Note: It's hard to remember what came out this year or last year or whatever, so just bear with me.

THE GOOD

Los Bros Hernandez continued to rock the Indy comics world with "Love and Rockets" and Gilbert had a handful of side projects this year as well. The "Hellboyverse" took shape this year, as Mike Mignolia wrote (but unfortunately didn't draw) a new Hellboy mini, a couple of BPRD minis, and a Lobster Johnson mini (Hell yeah!). Alan Moore briefly reemerged from retirement for "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: the Black Dossier", which was really cool. Other than that, the only new thing that really stuck with me was Doug Tenapel's new OGN, "Black Cherry". Other than that, DC unleashed the newly remastered "Jack Kirby's Fourth World Omnibus" of which I now have the first 2 volumes. Nice.

THE BAD

At one point in time, Warren Ellis was my favorite comic book writer. Nowadays, not so much so. I mean, I still read some Ellis comics from time to time, but my rabid fandom of all things Ellis has passed me by. I dunno whether I'm just not cynical enough anymore (a distinct possibility) or whether I'm still pissed about Ultimate Extinction (a very distinct possibility) or whether Ellis has simply lost his edge (less likely). Regardless, I found myself only reading a handful of comics from Ellis's large output this year, and of those, I only really enjoyed a few. Bummer.

THE UGLY

Civil War made me Dislike Marvel alot.

The Death of Captain America made me HATE Marvel.

"Silver Surfer: Requium" made me swear that it would be a Cold Day in Hell before I read another Marvel comic ever again.

2007 Year in Review: Movies

Let's not waste our time on all the movies that sucked. Let's stick to the ones that ruled. Also, I can't cover films I missed or haven't watched yet, so no "Sicko", "There Will Be Blood", "Sweeny Todd", "Persepolis", and ect. So, without further ado...

THE NINE FILMS I WATCHED IN 2007 THAT RULED ENOUGH TO PUT ON A LIST

9. 300- Balls to the wall, hard hitting, gritty translation of Frank Miller's beautiful graphic novel. Muscles, blood, naked women, more blood, freaks, severed limbs, more blood, and the inspiring tale of a small group of born warriors using courage and intelligence to stand toe to toe with an army much greater than them in numbers.

8. The Simpsons Movie- Wow. This was really funny. Really, really funny. I thought it would suck, but it didn't. Apparently, the Simpsons writers have been saving their comedy gold for this flick. The scene where Homer attempts to escape from the townsfolk nearly put me on the floor laughing.

7. Paprika- Easily the best animated film of the year (you heard me Ratatouille), Paprika was a strange, twisting mindbender with beautiful animation and a twisty turny plot. Strong characters and intriguing cases of multiple personality round out this animated tour de force.

6. Pan's Labrynth- Guillermo del Toro's dreamworld may be dark, but the real world of Revolutionary Spain is far darker. Beautiful, haunting film. The scene with the dude with eyes on his hands redefined the word awesome. For example, "How awesome was it?" "It was dude with eyes on his hands awesome."

5. The Darjeeling Limited- Sad yet funny tale of three inept, yet rich, brothers who bumble across India on a train trying to figure out there lives in the wake of their father's death and their own personal tragedies. Great acting, good story, beautiful cinematography. Gotta love Wes Anderson.

4. No Country for Old Men- Blood and dust. The Cohens get back to "Blood Simple" and "Fargo" territory with the ULTRA DARK tale of a cowboy that finds a satchel of money and gets chased by the most baddest ass killer since Mr. Shush. The ending will either make you love or hate this film. Since it's on my list, you can guess my reaction.

3. Eastern Promises- Speaking of Badass, Viggo Mortensen gets into a knife fight in a bathhouse. And he's buck ass naked. Besides having one of the most brutal fight scenes in cinema history, Eastern Promises is a gripping meditation on the lengths men will go to in the name of power, family, and justice. Incredibly complex characters, and dark, uncompromising story, great acting, and an absolute tour de force performance by Viggo. David Cronenberg is the Man.

2. Grindhouse- WORDS CANNOT FULLY EXPRESS HOW MUCH I LOVED GRINDHOUSE. It was not a movie. It was an EVENT. And not one of those phony-baloney events like the Transsuckers movie was. I mean, a real, honest to goodness, I can't believe I get to watch something so awesome event. I loved all of the Fake Trailers (Werewolf Women of the SS! Don't! Machette! Thanksgiving! These films need to be made! Please!) I loved the cheezy ads. I loved the atmosphere. I loved the double feature approach. I loved Planet Terror! Rose McGowan being all bendy with an AK-47 replacing her leg! Zombie Soldiers! Severed Balls! Decapitation by helicopter! Quentin Tarantino as Rapist #1! Blood! Gore! Death! Killer soundtrack! Awesome cast! Dr. Bloche with his needles of death! More stuff I can't think of! I loved Death Proof! Kurt Russell is smooth, then he's a psycho, then he's a coward! I loved the cars! HOTTEST CHICKS IN A MOVIE EVER DEAR LORD WHERE DID THESE WOMEN COME FROM JUNGLE JULIA DRIVES ME NUTS! Best car chase since the Blues Bros! Brutal Car Crash! More Killer Soundtrack! Do you hear me Butterfly? Many miles to go before you sleep.

So, if that's Number 2, what could possibly be Number 1? As if you have to ask...

#1! INLAND EMPIRE

Holy crap. No movie got me more excited. No movie effected me more while I watched it. No movie excited me more while I watched it. No movie had me thinking about it more after I watched it. Laura Dern puts on the performance of two life times as a series of interlocking women in trouble. Her performance alone would put this film on the top nine. But then, we add David Lynch to the mix, and the whole things explodes. For starters, the whole thing was filmed with a handheld digital camera, yet the film looks way better than Transsuckers did. Beautiful cinematography, so bright in parts and so horridly dark and spooky in others. Then there's the plot, quite literally constructed piece by piece, day by day. There was no complete script. Yet somehow, the whole thing holds together, and ultimately stands as the most intriguing and profound movie of the year. The soundtrack. Dear Lord the soundtrack is so unnerving. I loved it! So many scenes almost made me freak and start screaming histerically right there in the theatre. And then there's the Rabbits. The Rabbits drove me nuts. Again, it was just this thing that sparked my mind and lit up my imagination, and just got me excited about... well, everything. This wasn't a movie. It was so much more. My best film of the year (even if technically it came out last year...)

2007 Year in Review: TV

Righty-o. I watch a lotta TV. Here's the shows I dig, grouped by Channel. You might note that there's a lotta popular genre shows not on the list, like Lost, Battlestar Galactica, and Heroes. Typically, I didn't get in on the ground floor on that stuff, so I didn't bother trying to play catch up. So there's that.

CBS-
How I Met Your Mother- Terrible name, terrible concept, terrible theme song, Hilarious show. Consistantly one of the funniest shows on TV. The Slap Bet Episode in Season 2 was GOLD, and the Slapsgiving follow up in Season 3 was a worthy successor.

Big Bang Theory- The first time I watched this show, I hated it. Unfortunately, there was nothing else to watch in its time slot, so I kept watching. The show grew on me like a fungus. The likeable dork became more likeable, the irritating dork became funnier (Dear Lord he's freaking hilarious towards the end), and the chick somehow got hotter and wore less (Huzzah!). This show will probably be a casulty of the Writers Strike. Bummer.

ABC- Nothing. Like I said, I'm too far behind to watch Lost.

NBC-

My Name is Earl- Not always funny, but always worth watching. Earl is a well written show with a great cast of characters that includes important life lessons that don't seem bogus or preachy. Always a favorite.

The Office- Funniest show on TV. Season 3 was PURE GOLD. Season 4 is off to a great start. I wish the Writer's Strike would come to a conclusion so they could start work on new episodes.

Scrubs- Kinda jumped the shark last season. This season has had its moments, but I'm kinda glad they're wrapping this one up.

Life- One of the few "Cop" shows I actually watch, mostly because I really like the main character, Detective Cruise, an ex-convict who was wrongly imprisoned and as a result of a big ass lawsuit is a millionaire. The main character's conflicting persona (he's attempting to follow the path of Budha, but still wants to find the people who framed him and get revenge) drives the show and keeps it interesting.

FOX-

House- A rough end to last season and a rougher beginning to this one made me almost give up on House. But this season started to pull itself back together towards the end, and I really enjoyed the last couple of episodes. The Magic Panty Stealing Episode reminded me why I watch the show in the first place.

King of the Hill- Love the show, but it's hard to find it on the damn schedule half the time. Also, I'm usually busy on Sundays. Still, when I watch it, it's usually excellent. The recent Co-op episode was genius.

The Simpsons- I had kinda given up on the Simpsons recently. But I caught a recent episode or two, and was surprised at how much I enjoyed it. Sure, the Golden Years have passed, but it's still a pretty good show.

USA-

Monk- Adrian Monk, a multi-phobic detective with OCD, is a character for the ages. Always entertaining.

Psych- Fun show that's on after Monk so I don't bother changing channels.

Sci-Fi-

Dr. Who- I was never a big fan of Dr. Who as a kid, cause the Daleks scared the crap out of me. Now I think the show is awesome. Go figure. The new series continues the traditions of the original with updated special effects and concepts. The Highway to Nowhere episode was probably the best single episode of a TV show I've watched in YEARS. The season ender, which featured a PARADOX MACHINE and the chick saved the world with a story, left me giggling like a school girl. In a good way.

Nickelodian-

Avatar the Last Airbender- Surprisingly good quasi-anime cartoon on Nickelodian. Consistantly one of the most fun, exciting, fast paced, and intelligent shows on TV. On Nickelodian. Go figure. The recent Day of Black Sun episode was a barnburner.

Spongebob Squarepants- Yes, once again, Nautical Nonsense be something I wish. And yes, I drop on the deck and flop like a fish. Shut up.

El Tigre- Fun cartoon about a bunch of Luche Libre-esque Superheroes and Supervillians. The lead character, El Tigre, has to choose between doing good or evil, or trying to find the rare comprosmise between the two. Favorite episode to date featured an Underground Supervillian Race that bore more than a passing resemblance to SDF: the Great Race (which, in turn, was a blatant rip-off of the Wacky Races, but I digress).

Cartoon Network- NOTE: If there's nothing else to watch on TV, I'm probably watching Cartoon Network. It's my Go-To channel.

Ed, Edd, and Eddy- My most favorite CN show ever came to an end this year with an excellent episode where nerdy Double D accidentally becomes the school bully. I love this show and truly hate that it's done.

Squidbillies- My favorite Adult Swim show, there's so much wrong minded insaness going on here I don't even know where to start. Giant donkey penis hats, moonshine made outa pine cones that'll turn you blind, Monsters, holding Santa Clause hostage, shotguns, pigs addicted to meth, and well you get the idea. Love it.

Metalapocalypse- Wow. The music on this show is awesome. Also, the show's really good. How'd that happen?

2007 Year in Review: Wrestling

Oh Wrestling. The fake sport I love more than any real sport. It was a wierd year for me as a wrestling fan. This was the year I completely abandoned mainstream wrestling. I didn't watch the WWE (I had to wrack my brain to remember who won the main event at Wrestlemania this year) at all, and I abandoned the ECW offshoot late last year (damn you, Bobby Lashly!). Even with CM Punk winning the ECW World Title, I couldn't bring myself to return to ECW. Once bitten, twice shy. The madness surrounding the late, formerly great Chris Benoit also left me pretty cold. But I don't wanna talk about that. TNA wasn't worth watching this year, with the company abandoning (is that my word for the day?) quality wrestling in favor of moronic story lines. In addition, TNA's promising roster of young talent was pushed aside in favor of former WWE wrestlers with nowhere else to go. It was pretty sad really.

Was Wrestling Society X this year or last year? It only lasted about a month, so there's not much to talk about, outside of the fact that it gave some mainstream exposure to some Indy talent. Meh. MTV sucks.

So, without any mainstream wrestling, I spent most of the year paying attention to the Independants. My main focus was ROH and Chikara, but I also watched a little IWA: MS, CZW, PWG, and NWA.

ROH continued to put out the highest quality pure wrestling product in America. Great wrestling, period. ROH lost a lot of talent this year to the WWE and TNA (which means they're doing something right...). The list includes Samoa Joe, Christopher Daniels, Homicide, Matt Sydell, Jimmy Rave, and Colt Cabana. In addition, Austin Aries was out for a chunk of the year due to contract disputes with TNA, Bryan Danielson was out with a shoulder injury from last year, and no sooner than Nigel McGuiness wins the World Title than he suffers an arm injury and is out of action for most of the rest of the year. Oh, and Mark Briscoe damn near killed himself. Despite all of this, ROH really stepped it up this year. They toured the world, having shows in the UK and JAPAN (!). They got on Pay Per View, giving them a nationwide platform to display their talent. They even recently released a couple of mass market DVDs. I watched quite a bit of ROH this year. Besides the three PPVs they've released, I watched a fair amount of videos (I never had the money to buy em at the live shows, but my friends did, and we tend to network our wrestling DVDs). I also attended every live ROH show in Chicago this year, except for the Man Up PPV taping (we were all either working or at a wedding at the time). I got to see Mike Quackenbush wrestle live (Woo-Hoo!), I got to see Chris Hero vs. Nigel McGuiness, Bryan Danielson vs. KENTA, and I got to see Colt Cabana's final ROH match. I also got to see the Briscoe Bros pretty much tear the house down all year long. In other words, it was a very strange, but very good year to be an ROH fan.

I also became a big Chikara fan this year. This crazy little family friendly promotion from out of Pennsylvania was a welcome change from the moronic, lewd nonsense of the Bigger promotions, and the admittedly too serious for its own good ROH (not that I'm knocking ROH, it's just that man can't eat steak every day. Sometimes he needs something else. That made no sense). Chikara mix of colorful masked characters, internationally influenced wrestling styles, wacky almost cartoon-like story lines, and matches that range from scientifically brilliant (anything with Mike Quackenbush, Chris Hero, or Claudio Castignoli) to hilarious (I laughed my butt off at so many Chikara matches this year, it's hard to pick a single one that stands out. The Colony vs. the Olsen Twins from Anniversario comes to mind). I bought several Chikara DVDs from Smart Mark Video this year, and Chikara even released a mass market DVD which I scored as well. It was all great stuff, and I could probably yammer on and on about why I dig this promotion, but I've gotta eat breakfast.

So, to summarize, screw mainstream wrestling. I'm getting my wrestling fix from the indies from now on.

2007 Year in Review: Politics

Right. The Bush Administration screwed us over and committed a ton of illegal, unconstitutional, impeachable acts, but never got in trouble for it. People got pissed, sure, but nothing really changed. Then the Democrats got control of Congress, and everyone thought everything was gonna change somehow, but it didn't. The only thing that changed was that Bush had to veto a bill every now and then. So that all sucked.

Then there was the Presidential Race. Here's the rundown on that:

Barack Obama- Pros: No real history, seems like a genuinely decent human being (or at the very least has created that impression). Cons: No real experience at all. Has an unfortunate last night. The Right is terrified of him, which means they'll work overtime to ensure he doesn't get the Presidency.

Hillary Clinton- Pros: Ya gotta love Bubba. Cons: She's a lying, cheating, flip-flopping, back stabbing, not afraid to get turned into a cuckhold on national TV cause getting a divorce would look bad for her eventual presidential campaign, bitch. Also, the Right hates her even more then Obama.

John Edwards- Pros: He's the least controversial Democratic candidate (which is a pretty sad if you think about it). Cons: Seriously, who is this guy?

Rudy Guilliani- Pros: He legitamately cleaned up Times Square. Cons: Most of his 9-11 heroics are little more than smoke and mirrors. He's a fascist. He flip-flops on issues faster than Hillary. He kinda scares the living crap out of me. May drink blood.

John McCane- Pros: He's a vet and a former POW. Gotta respect that. Cons: He's crazy (in a bad way), and his blind support of the Bush Administration's moronic (and increasingly costly in both lives and money (seriously, the US dollar's gonna be worth less than the Peso soon...)) War on Terror has pretty much turned him into a pariah.

That Mormon Guy- Pros: Uhhh... Cons: That whole Mormon thing creeps people out. Also, I think he's the jack-off who coined the phrase "Double Guantanamo".

Mike Huckabee- Pros: Dude talks a hell of a good game. Cons: If there's one thing I've learned from being a life long Baptist, it is this-- NEVER, EVER, EVER TRUST A PREACHER. EVER. Especially one who is STUPID enough to believe the world is only 6000 years old.

Fred Thompson- Pros: He's a recognizable celebrity. Also, he's a party animal, which makes him the Republican Billy Boy. Cons: He's a party animal. Can't stay awake during debates. Health issues. He's kind of a joke already.

Ron Paul- Pros: Anti-big government. Anti-government interfearance. Anti-War. Anti-War Spending. He's the only Republican I'd consider voting for. Cons: Anti-Immigration. Standard Republican stances on issues like Gay Right and Abortion (those of you who lean to the Right might consider moving this stuff to the Pro column). There's absolutely no way in hell he's actually gonna get the nomination.

In Summation: It's all one big joke. In the words of the Who, "Meet the new boss, same as the old boss."

2007 Year in Review: The World

Haven't updated this blog in awhile. Wanted to leave the info for "Pulp Horrorshow" up for as long as possible (for all the good it did me). Anyway, it's December, so it's time for our comprehensive annual Year in Review. And what better place to start than the very Globe we live upon.

The World sucked this year. Turn on CNN for more than five minutes and you get a big old fat faceful of how much the world sucked this year. I'd go into details, but it's all a waste of time and energy, and there's better things to blog about. On the bright side, the world sucked last year, too; so at least it's maintaining the status quo.