Moviecide-09/28/07

Righty-o. Moviecide. Most movies suck. I insult them without watching. Ta-Da!

Feast of Love- Groan. Ensemble movie that's supposed to be all moving yet whimsical. Read: Chick flick. Boo. Moving on.

The Game Plan- Never liked the Rock, not even when I used to watch the WWE. Any movie that involves a guy suddenly raising a kid he didn't know he had (with supposedly hilarious consequences) is a recipe for crap. Boo.

In the Valley of Elah- Saw a preview for this one at "Eastern Promises". Looked decent enough. It's got Tommy Lee Jones and Charlize Theron in it, which counts for a lot. Possibly on DVD.

The Kingdom- Groan. I'm pretty sure there's a decent director connected to this one, and it's got a pretty swanky cast, but I'm personally not in the mood for any movie that's got any sort of pro-military we're all running around in some desert hunting A-rabs movie, even if this one does have the rather interesting hook in that the US crew are being backed up by a Saudi soldier (who actually gets speaking lines). Again, though, with the whole Blackwater thingie, my camel's back has been completely broken on the subject of war in desert countries. Pass big time.

The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters- A documentary about the guy who won the Donkey Kong World Record back in the 80s (and, incidentally, still thinks it's 1988) and the guy trying to dethrone (insert laughter here) him. I really, really wanna watch this one, but it's in St. Louis, and I don't need to watch it that bad. Netflix it in about six months.

Notes from the TORCverse- 09/26/07

Notes from the TORCverse is a new column designed pretty much to blatantly hype my comic book publishing company TORC Press. Really, that was supposed to be the point of the whole blog, but, seriously, I just don't have that much hype in me. I'm gonna try updating this thing on a weekly basis. I plan on having an Essay on the TORCverse, a What I'm Working On section, and a Hype section. Ta-Da!

Essay: Cactus Joe's Motivation

I personally think one of the more interesting things about Cactus Joe the Clown is his motivation, or perhaps, lack thereof. In action comics, the Hero always has to have some sort of motivation. Superman is compelled to do the right thing as a result of his upbringing. Spiderman fights crime "Cause with Great Power comes Great Responcibility". Batman and Punisher are both waging war on Crime out of a need to exact Vengence for dead members of their family (although their methods differ quite radically). In the movies, most Action Heroes are either members of some Protective Community (cops, military, Knights of the Round Table, Jedi Knights, ect.) or they're out to rescue some damsel in distress or some such. The Clown's got none of that going on. His memory of his childhood is shot, so that throws out the upbringing. That whole Great Power nonsense is pretty pointless in a world owned by Corrupt Corporations, Greedy Politicians, and Careless Mobsters. Joe used to work the whole Vengence angle, but he got tired of that when he realized he'd never be able to kill enough guys to get his revenge. He's not a cop or whatever, and although he will actively work to protect his friends, he's not out to save or rescue anyone. Hell, he's not even motivated by Pinocchio syndrome, which is the need to return to a normal human state. Cactus Joe likes being the Clown. In many ways, it's the only life he's ever known.

So, what is Cactus Joe's motivation? Quite simply, he just wants to live a hassle free life where he can kick back, relax, do the things he wants, and hang out with his friends. Which is why Ortex make such great antagonists, because those bastards won't stop until they've got the Clown's severed head on silver platter. No matter how many demons, monsters, and guys in fancy outfits Clowny slaughters, they just keep coming. Greed and promotion are the motivating factors of these creatures, and if you don't believe the motivational powers of those things, then just take a good long look at the world we're living in. In a strange way, Cactus Joe has to fight for his right to just hang out and do nothing.

What I'm Working On:

Okay. SDF: Honorless Dogs #2 is done, but I've got a bit of a dilemna involving printers. I'm not sure where I'm taking the book to get printed anymore, which is going to further slow down the whole process. I will work this whole mess out before the end of the year. Really.

I'm about halfway through the pencils on SDF: Honorless Dogs #3, and I've (barely) started the inks. I've finished the pencils on Gulatta! #3, but I'm not working on the inks until I've got SDF:HD 3 almost done. I would like to start work sometime soon on New Super Duper Fun Comix Book B, but I need to order more Bristol first. And I've got some little mystery projects I'm dinking around on, but won't announce until they're done.

Hype! Hype! Hype!

There's nothing really new to Hype right now, but I would like to take this time to remind everyone out there that we are still in the midst of the Cactus Joe the Clown Ten Year Birthday Extravanganza. What that means is that all online (or snail mail) orders that I recieve will also get FREE STUFF with their order. This can range from original art to old, out of print Xerox comics. So head on over to www.torcpress.com/comicshop.html and check it out. This will be the last "Freebie" promotional that TORC Press will do until our Ten Year Anniversary in October 2009, so if you want some cheap free stuff, now's the time. As always, you check us out on the web at www.torcpress.com and www.myspace.com/torcpress.

Wrestle Rant- 09/24/07

Okay. Gonna try something new. Random Notes will go up on my Myspace blog. On the main blog, I'm gonna do a Wrestling thingie on Mondays, a column on TORC Press on Wednesday or Thursday, and Friday is Moviecide. We'll see how that goes.

So, this is Wrestle Rant, a weekly column where I yammer about Pro Wrestling. I don't really watch mainstream wrestling anymore, so don't expect any commentary on the WWE or TNA. Bah to that. Instead I'll be focusing on Ring of Honor and Chikara, with occasional side commentary on other indies such as FIP, CZW, IWA: Mid-South, and ect. If you're not familiar with any of these organizations and want to learn more about them, you can look them all up on Wikipedia, the handiest-dandiest info site ever. Let's roll.

Ring of Honor:

ROH had their second PPV this weekend, and it was a barnburner. If you didn't get a chance to catch it, I can't recommend it highly enough, and there should be replays sometime during the week. Most of the PPV came out of Chicago, and if you look closely enough, you can see Me, Fitch, Brooks, and Boolah in the crowd. When I saw myself I looked out to lunch, but I look like that alot, so there's that. Anyway, here's the rundown on the PPV.

The Resilience vs. the No Remorse Corps: Crazy, fast, hard hitting match to start the PPV. Crazy spots, high flying, not much mat wrestling. After the match Austin Aries hits the ring, quits TNA, and rejoins ROH. The building erupts. You can see Boolah spontaneously combust at one point.

Claudio Castignoli vs. Matt Sydell: Great, quick paced match. Anytime Claudio wrestles a smaller, faster wrestler you're in for a good time. This was Sydell's last Major match in ROH now that he's off to the WWE. It's too bad, because I really enjoyed watching Sydell wrestle in ROH. The finish of this match was insane, and if you've got Slo-Mo on your TV, the finish is a good place to use it.

BJ Whitmer vs. Naomichi Marafuji: Hard hitting match. Marafuji is always fun to watch, and Whitmer is one of the most solid performers on the roster. Whitmer's downward spiral continues...

Pelle Primeau vs. Brent Albright: Squash match. Albright annoys me. Moving on.

Takeshi Morishima vs. Jimmy Rave: World Title Match. Rave (who's also gone from ROH now) put up a decent fight against the massive World Champion, but he was no match for the dominant Morishima. Short, hard hitting match.

The Briscoe Bros. vs. Kevin Steen and El Generico: World Tag Title Match. An absolute classic that saw both teams pull out all the stops. The Briscoes are just absolutely amazing. Steenerico kicked ass too, and even though they lost, they still looked like possible future contenders.

From Philly: Nigel McGinness vs. Brian Danielson: Number One Contenders Match. Strangely enough, this was the only truly ROH style match on the card. While the other matches focused on high flying and high impact, this match emphasized stellar mat wrestling. Course, there was plenty of hard hitting as well. Check the Head Butt War between these two. It's completely insane. Awesome frickin' match.

Other ROH Notes: Jigsaw, my boy from Chikara, was recently snnounced as the newest member of Jack Evan's Vulture Squad. This is good news for Jig, as it will give him more face time in ROH, and will also give hime some allies to back him up. Hopefully he can pick up a few wins with this new group and make a name for himself in ROH competition.

CHIKARA!

Chikara's annual Torneo Cibernetico match was this weekend. The Cibernetico is a 16 man Elimination Tag Match that has to be seen to be believed. Claudio Castiginoli, who's been on big hot streak lately, won the match, ultimately eliminating one of his own teammates. I can't wait to pick this one up on DVD. Also, Hallowicked and Delirious, Team Incoherence, picked up their third point, and can now challenge Team Fist for the Campeonese de Parehas (spell?) which are Chikara's tag belts. I don't expect Incoherence to win because Delirious has too many outside commitments, but it should be a hell of a good match.

Moviecide- 09/21/07

Right. Welcome to Moviecide. This week we're not even gonna waste our time on the crap. Good Luck Chuck, Resident Evil: Apocalypse, and Sydney White are all going to suck hardcore. Don't waste your time. Instead, I recommend catching "Eastern Promises". It's the new film from David Cronenberg, one of my two most favorite directors EVER. It's got Naomi Watts in it, which is reason enough to watch it. It's about the Russian Mob, the nastiest damn mob ever. And it's got Viggo Mortensen playing a character who's such a bad ass that he even kicks ass when he's butt ass naked (lotta ass in that sentence). I can't Guarantee that it will rule, but Cronenberg's last film "A History of Violence" was a barnburner, and word of mouth on this one is already quite positive. So don't waste your time on the crap. Waste it on something that might actually entertain you.

Random Notes and Whatnot

Wicked Heartburn today.

Had a Wedding and a Funeral within 24 hrs of each other this weekend. That'll mess a guy up a little. Trying not to have an existential crisis.

So, from what I've read, the ROH PPV taping in Chicago that I missed on Saturday was a Barnburner. No title changes, but great/insane matches throughout and the introduction of Jimmy Jacobs's new faction as well. Oh well, I can always catch on PPV in a month or two.

Speaking of wrestling, I'm toying with the idea of starting weekly columns about Wrestling and TORC Press in a vein similiar to Moviecide. Not sure if I have enough material on either subject to warrant it or not. Might give it a shot next week.

Speaking of PPV, the second ROH PPV airs this Friday! If you look closely, you might just see little old me sitting around in the crowd. We'll be watching the show at Brook's (?) place. It was a great show, and I can't recommend it highly enough. Plus, I think there's a bonus match featuring Bryan Danielson and Nigel McGuinness. I think.

There's also an UFC PPV on Saturday and Eastern Promises SHOULD be out this weekend everywhere. Busy weekend.

Moviecide- 09/14/07

Right. Moviecide. Weekly Column. I insult new movies coming out even though I've never seen em. This week we've got three movies. They all look sucky. Let's roll.

The Brave One- Y'know, I might think this movie might be more interesting if they had entitled it "Jody Foster Shoots People in the Face". Anyone else think it's Really Creepy that a movie supposedly about Bravery features a chick who buys a gun and then goes around shooting people? Anyone? And from the looks of the previews, she kinda bushwhacks her intended victims. The previews can extoll the virtues of this chunk of trash all they want, but frankly, I think the film looks depressing and morally bankrupt and kinda dumb.

Dragon Wars- Speaking of dumb. Y'know what this looks like? It looks like a bunch of D&D obsessed Computer Programmers got together and said, "Y'know what'd be cool? If we made a movie about Soldiers fighting Dragons! That'd be Awesome!" Then some idiot actually gave them the money to actually make the damn thing. If I was 14 years old still, I might think this was the coolest movie ever. Unfortunately, at the age of 29 it just looks like an Amaturish CGI-fest slapped together by a bunch of hacks. Groan. And the really, really bad film is next...

Mr. Woodcock- Cripes. I'm sure somebody out there actually thinks this film looks good. I am not one of those people. I mean, didn't they already make this film? Wasn't it called "School for Scoundrels"? Didn't that movie look lame too? Anyone? That guy from those "American Pie" movies I never bothered to watch craps up the screen yet again (seriously, someone put this guy out of his misery) while Billy Bob just looks like he's goin' through the motions. Susan Sarandon must need a paycheck. Groan. Seriously, who's funding this crap?

Adventure, Ho!

Most of the stories I write are Action stories which are filtered through a sorta Horror/Superhero/Weird Stuff Mesh. I get a kick outa writing Action Stories, and they're easy to write to boot. I also write a lotta Comedy/Fun stories. Some people dig my Comedy stuff more than my Action stuff, but if I wrote either exclusively, I'd go nuts and kill myself out of boredom. Gots to have variety. I also write a fair amount of stories that are, for lack of a better term, Experimental. These stories typically allow me to just kind of dump my subconscious out on the table and see what patterns emerge.

The only story type I've wanted to tell and never really got to yet is the Adventure story. That's a darn shame, and I'll tell you why.

I Loves me a good Adventure. I grew up on arguably the greatest Adventure series of all time, the Indiana Jones movie series. Love those flicks. Hell, they're the main reason why I'm always drawing characters wearing fedoras. I've also enjoyed lots of other adventures. The Hobbit was my favorite novel before I read Stephen King's "It". I, like most people without a stick up their ass, loved the Lord of the Rings movies (and, yes, Randall, the plot can be boiled down to people walking around alot, but that's kinda every Adventure. More on that later...). I recently figured out why all those stuck up types dig the old "Scrooge McDuck" comics so much: they're fun, good olde fashioned adventures.

But probably my current favorite Adventure story is the Japanese Manga "One Piece". "One Piece" started out as an Action story, as Monkey D. Luffy, the Rubber Pirate, spent most of his time recruiting pirates to his crew and fighting Bad Guy Pirates. But as the series has progressed, it's become less "Fight" oriented and more about the travels and trials that Luffy and his crew experience. Sure there's a good olde fashioned bare knuckle brawl every so often (usually at the end of a story arc), but the rest of the story is devoted to the crew's travels. The current story arc is a prime example of this. One of the crew members, Nami the Navigator/Thief, gets sick. In order to cure her, the crew has to land on a wintery island. Unfortunately, the only doctor lives on top of a mountain, so Luffy and his companions have to cross difficult terrain and face a variety of dangers on their way to their goal, which is finding a cure to save Nami. Classic Adventuring in other words.

Like I've said, I've never really done an Adventure story. The problem is I'm just not hardwired that way. Adventure stories are typically very Situationally oriented. The heroes have to face a variety of dangers and challenges on their way towards some Goal. I've never been a very Goal oriented writer. If my characters have a Goal, it's usually just some lame set piece, like the copy of "Circutry Man" that Cactus Joe and company are looking for in "Super Duper Fun Comix: Violent Video". Also, I don't tend to compound the challenges my characters face. It's usually One Big Problem that my heroes need to smash (or on some RARE occassions Outwit) their way through. Alota this has to do with time and space. I only have so much room in the average comic to tell a story, so I tend to be rather spartan when it comes to situations, leaving me more room for Character Development, Witty Dialogue/Humorous Situations, and UltraViolent Action Sequences. BUT, the aforementioned Scrooge McDuck stories have proven time and time again that you can create surprisingly Epic Adventures using a ridiculous minimum of pages, and still have plenty of room left over for Characterization and Humor (No real ultraviolence in those Uncle Scrooge comics, sorry to say...).

Long story short, in a year or three, I'm gonna start trying my hand at writing some Adventure stories. Just some short fun ones. We'll see if I can properly rewire my brain or not. If I can, I'll try my hand at some longer ones. And who knows? Maybe one day I'll write my own little Epic.

Moviecide- 09/07/07

Welcome once again to Moviecide, the weekly column where I review all the new movies coming out even though I haven't seen any of them yet. Yes, I am that much of a snob. Here we go.

3:10 to Yuma- Russel Crowe bludgeoned a guy in the face with a phone. As such, I will NEVER spend my hard earned money EVER again on a film that features Russel Crowe in it. Otherwise, looks like a decent enough western.

The Brothers Solomon- It's got GOB from Arrested Development in it. Um. That's pretty much it. Bro thought it almost looked funny. I haven't seen anything of interest myself.

Shoot Em Up- Instinct tells me this is a numbnuts action flick. BUT it's got two of my favorite actors, Paul Giammati and Clive Owen, in it. Normally, I don't base my movie going on actors, I base it on directors. But this film's got a first time director (which can be both good and very bad), and I've been known to watch a film just because it's got Mr. Giammati in it. So, I'm a bit torn. I might watch it this weekend while I'm in Evansville, or I might not. I'll tell you one thing, I hope that it doesn't paint the picture of being a crazy action flick and then prove to be boring and predictable like that flaming piece of crap "Smoking Aces" did...

Paris Je T'Aime- According to Moviefone, this is a series of vignettes by various directors from all over the world making little mini-movies about Paris, France. Maybe on DVD.

Perrot le fou- French film. Something about a couple on the run. Maybe on DVD, mostly because the full synopsis sounded interesting.

Tuesday Morning Jumble

L'see, whatta we got?

A number of new movies this fall look worth watching. Tops on my list, as well as the lists of just about everyone I know, is David Cronenberg's "Eastern Promises". But the Cohens, Wes Anderson, and PT Anderson (no relation) have all got films coming out as well, so keep an eye out for alla that as well.

Saturday I'm heading to Evansville cause Comic Quest is having a HUGE back issue sale. I'm gonna pick up a buncha obscure stuff. Fun Fun.

The next weekend I've gots the first of two weddings I'm going to this year. Scott Workman, also known as the guy who set me on fire back in the old wrestling days, is finally getting hitched. Not a big wedding guy, but I've got nothing better to do that weekend, so...

Speaking of weddings, Boolah's Hugeomatic Wedding is coming up in a few months. I'm already working up a new set of fabulous dance moves for the reception.

Rough drafts on my four short prose stories are complete. Just a bit of editing, and they're done on a bun.

Welp, back to work...