Moviecide-07/03/07
Moviecide is a column about outrage. Outrage over how Hollywood can produce movies that are so utterly rotten that you know they suck without even watching them. This is Moviecide.
Bratz- Bratz is a cancerous, diseased, disgusting line of toys aimed directly at a pre-teen girl audience and designed to turn little girls into an army of spoiled, materialistic fashionistas. This is the live action film adaptation. WORST FILM OF THE ENTIRE YEAR. I'm pretty this is also mentioned as a sign of the Apocalypse somewhere in Revelation.
The Bourne Ultimatum- Never got around to watching any of the Bourne movies, so it goes without saying I ain't gonna bother watching the third. For the record, there has been a certain amount of critical acclaim to this sleeper series, so there's that.
Hot Rod- Groan. Another movie that's built around people getting beat up and falling off stuff and getting kicked in the balls. Bored now.
Underdog- I hope Jason Lee got paid a decent chunk of change to supply the voice for Underdog. Otherwise, crap. Dog crap, in fact.
Rescue Dawn- The best POW movie ever was Chuck Norris's Missing in Action 2 (he bit the head off a rat and killed people with a flamethrower!). As a result, this movie is already a waste of time. Plus, not a fan of war movies, especially Vietnam ones. It's got Batman in it, though.
Bratz- Bratz is a cancerous, diseased, disgusting line of toys aimed directly at a pre-teen girl audience and designed to turn little girls into an army of spoiled, materialistic fashionistas. This is the live action film adaptation. WORST FILM OF THE ENTIRE YEAR. I'm pretty this is also mentioned as a sign of the Apocalypse somewhere in Revelation.
The Bourne Ultimatum- Never got around to watching any of the Bourne movies, so it goes without saying I ain't gonna bother watching the third. For the record, there has been a certain amount of critical acclaim to this sleeper series, so there's that.
Hot Rod- Groan. Another movie that's built around people getting beat up and falling off stuff and getting kicked in the balls. Bored now.
Underdog- I hope Jason Lee got paid a decent chunk of change to supply the voice for Underdog. Otherwise, crap. Dog crap, in fact.
Rescue Dawn- The best POW movie ever was Chuck Norris's Missing in Action 2 (he bit the head off a rat and killed people with a flamethrower!). As a result, this movie is already a waste of time. Plus, not a fan of war movies, especially Vietnam ones. It's got Batman in it, though.
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