A Good Ole Fashioned Adventure

So, I was watching the Indiana Jones movies the other day. And I had my usual thoughts when watching em. Namely: "This rules" and "How come no one makes movies like this anymore?"

The honest truth is that Hollywood is constantly trying to recapture the lightning in the bottle that was the Indiana Jones trilogy. Why do they fail over and over? Dunno. It's pretty big shoes to fill, really. After all, outside of that one scene in "Raiders" where you can see the reflection of the snake, and the ever annoying Willie Scott in "Temple", the Jones series is just about as close to perfection in every cinematic aspect as three movies can get.

I have days where I wanna create a comic like the Indiana Jones movies. A good ole fashioned adventure, y'know? The reason why I don't is due to a variety of factors. Space is an issue. To tell a story like that I'd need more room than I present in my current format. Skill is a definate issue. I'm just not a good enough artist to draw alla the stuff a story like that would entail, and I'm not a good enough writer to pace it correctly.

The fourth factor, though, is probably the best reason why Hollywood can't recapture the magic of the Indiana Jones movies. Any attempt I would make at a homage to the Indiana Jones movies would come off as a cheap rip-off of the Indiana Jones movies. To do the story justice, I would need to not mature both as an artist and writer, specifically devote a side comic to the story, and, most importantly, inject the story with that essential "Josephness" (whatever the hell that means). Oh well. It's something to do when I hit my 40s...

Another Update and an Announcement

Okay, the new webcomic is up over at www.torcpress.com/webcomic.html. This is the Last Webcomic for the foreseeable future, as I am putting the webcomic on indefinate hiatus. Quite frankly, I have no real ideas for new webcomics. I always kinda struggled with the format, and although I did produce a number of issues of NonReal that I was quite proud of, I also produced quite a few that were just kinda eh. Anyway, throw in a ridiculous workload and something had to give. I'm not abandoning the webcomic by any means, merely putting it away for awhile. For the one or two of you that dug "SDF: Nonreal" I thank you for your support, and hopefully it will return to action after Convention Season wraps up.

A Quick Update

Alrighty, it is official. "SDF: Lost Jigsaw Pieces" is up over at www.torcpress.com/comicshop.html. Order it online and feel good that you are utilizing space age technology to buy a comic that is made using pretty much every outdated method possible.

Quick Notes and Random Reviews

I spent all day Saturday by myself. I only talked to the lady at the Bank and my Dad (on the phone). I didn't turn on the TV once all day. I spent all day reading manga and working on the comic. Conversely, Sunday, I spent all day around people, watched a ton of TV, read a bunch of American comics, and worked on the comic. Variety.

I've recommended it before, I recommend it again. Batman Year 100 by Paul Pope. Most exciting Batman book I've read in a looong time. I missed Issue 2, but Issue 3 was a barnburner. Check it.

Quick recipe. Take a Baguette. Cut off a chunk. Split it lengthwise. On one side, spread butter and coat with Garlic salt. On the other side, slather on some pesto sauce and cover with Provolone Cheese. Place in a toaster oven (or conventional) for 5 mins at 350 degrees. Remove, Unite the Halves, Enjoy.

Why do I keep reading Ultimate Extinction? All that comic does is piss me off.

Keep randomly waking up at 5am.

Probably the best event/crossover book I've ever read was the Infinity Gauntlet. Nothing before or since has ever quite stacked up. (I'm trying to decide whether Seven Soldiers technically counts or not. If it does it's the only real contender to the Gauntlet's throne) The recent Annihilation crossover from Marvel isn't even in the same league as Gauntlet, but it's still a pretty good read. Again, a lot of it has to do with the fact that I grew up with most of these characters, so the nostalgia factor is very high. Still, solid stories, solid art, and a truly cosmic scope have made this crossover very entertaining so far.

I have mixed feelings about Nextwave. It's a fun book, but it's also very empty, and this issue ended in a big ole anticlimax.

I've come up with some pretty insane concepts in my time. The Bill Clinton Penis Machine. Drugs made from pulverized Mutant Frogs. A Levitating Sex Scene. A guy with tubes coming out of his face that spew raw sewage that in turns forms the structure of his boday. Y'know. Pretty odd stuff I suppose. So, when I say that Shaolin Cowboy is one Cracked Out Comic, I ain't just whistlin' Dixie, Dig?

Good Luck (You Poor Fools)

Wasn't gonna blog today, but an article caught my eye. I was over on comicbookresources, and there was an article detailing the opening wave of titles from the new Virgin Comics line. I'm assuming that Virgin Comics is owned by the big fat Virgin corps that's got the Record company and whatnot. Which is to say the financial backing is there, right off the bat. According to the article, there's three comics in the intial release, which I can sum up pretty quick: Hot chick fights crime, Hot chick kills people, and Supernatural cop comic. Well, at least they're not bothering with superheroes. Apparently, Virgin is going to have an entire line of comics written by Film Directors as well. Course, I hadn't heard of the guy writing the one book, but I digress.

Honestly, not sure what to think about this yet. What I've seen of the art looks pretty glossy. After reading the run down I'm not really drawn to any of the books. My days of reading books about hot chicks beating people up have passed me by. (And yes, Boolah, I'm well aware that Love and Rockets features a large cast of well endowed women, but there's more to the book than just boobies. Not that I mind the occassional breast...)

Will Virgin survive this warzone called the comics industry? Well, that depends on the people with the money. The books will probably sell fairly well by comic standards, but selling well by comics standards don't mean much nowadays. If the bigwigs at Virgin are expecting this venture to be a cash cow, then I gots a feeling they're gonna be sorely disappointed. If that's the case, I expect them to pull the plug within 2 years. Otherwise, Virgin could probably dink around the comic industry for quite a while.

If anyone from the new Virgin Comics venture happens to be reading this (and, yes, I know that no one is, but bear with me), here's my advice as an avid comics reader and a comic book publisher. If you're doing this for the money, just stop now. The only people that make any real money in this industry are Marvel and DC, and they're not making enough to live on. Marvel makes most of its money through Movie, TV, Licensing Deals, and Action Figures. DC is a tax write off for AOL/Time/Warner, and a place to keep a handful of potentially lucrative franchises alive and visible (Superman, Batman, ect). If you're in this to have an idea farm for Movies, TV, and ect, don't bother. Better men than you have tried and failed. Hell, just look at most of the crap DC tries to put out into the open world. And they're owned by WARNER BROTHERS! (Just thinking of Catwoman or that crummy Birds of Prey TV series makes my skin crawl) If you're here to try to bring new ideas to the industry and to make exciting new comics, though, well then, I commend you. But if that is your goal, then you better try harder, cause that opening wave of crap looks like something regurgitated from the mid-90s.

Reset Button

Well, if the generally negative tone of the last few blog entries isn't enough of an indicator, I'm just gonna come right out and say it. It's been a crummy week. How crummy? Well, one day I got concrete in my eye, and Pa smashed me in the chest with a shovel (unintentional of course). Not to mention I've got my first good sunburn of the year, despite doing everything in my power to prevent it. No ozone bad for skin. In addition, I've been spreading myself pretty thin lately, running all over hell on the weekends, doin' stuff, and not getting near enough sleep (side note: It is physically impossible for me to sleep past 9am, even if I went to bed at 5am).

This weekend is my reset button. I've got nothing going on at all. I'm gonna take some time to clean up my house a little, buy some supplies (I've been out of paper towels for a week and a half...), catch up on my sleep, and, of course, work very diligently on the comic. So while everyone else is out living it up, don't shed a tear for me, cause believe me, I'm looking forward to a little chill time.

Just Say It

So, yesterday's blog was all about how I suck. And I was just thinking about it, and man, in the comic book industry, no one ever admits to sucking.

For example, here's a scenario I've seen literally dozens of times. You've got some dude (sorry ladies, there just ain't many of you that publish comics. You need to get out there and Represent) has his own Comic Book Company. The Company hits it big with a book or two. They get popular, get some interviews in Wizard, and start expanding their line. Then, something goes wrong. Maybe the trend they capitalized on comes to end. Maybe fans are fickle. Maybe they just start producing half assed comics. Whatever the reason, the company loses its momentum. Books start coming out late, if at all. Employess get paid late, if at all. Everyone knows something's up. But what does the publisher say?

"Everything's fine. In fact, everything's great! We've got New Comics X, Y, and Z coming out soon, and they're gonna rock!" Two days later, the company declares bankruptcy, leaving its employees holding the bag.

I don't wanna be like that. If things are going wrong, I wanna be man enough to admit they're going wrong. But that's just me. On the bright side, I don't have any employees to screw over...

My Suck List

So, seeing as how I'm no Pro, I'm always looking to improve myself and the comic. As a result, I have a mental checklist which I have entitled, Things I Suck At. I keep this list around because I'm always trying to improve upon the things on this list, to the point where the List will eventually be no longer neccessary. Here's the Officially Joseph Morris Things I Suck At List:

1. Backgrounds (I'm getting better, but I've still got a ways to go)
2. Cars/Vehicles (Hoo boy do I suck at these. I typically try to avoid drawing these cause I suck at it so bad)
3. Women (I'm getting better, but I still think my women look awkward every now and then)
4. Shading (I kinda have my own logic when it comes to shading. I need to work on it all the same though)
5. Children (I don't draw kids too often, but when I do, they tend to look a little odd. Need to work on that)
6. Pacing (I tend to rush things. I've been working very hard at slowing my stories down and letting them proceed at a more natural pace)
7. Rogue's Gallery (My villians tend to die off a lot. I need to get more durable villians)

So, there you go. Not many comic book publishers would actually put up a list of things they're weak at, but not many comic book publishers would be working as hard as I am to get better at the things they know they don't do well.

TORC Press: We're not perfect, but that doesn't mean we're not trying.

Finales

Man, there's rarely such a thing as a good finale. Doesn't matter if it's a TV series or a comic book or whatever. This is because most finales can be broken down into the following catagories:

1) You loved the show, don't wanna see it end, and no matter what the finale's gonna be a big bummer. (Ex: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Cowboy Bebop)

2) You liked the show at one time, but it's fallen apart since then, and at best the series finale can only serve to somewhat redeem the show (Twin Peaks).

3) Nothing actually happens on the series finale. (I'm sure there's tone of examples, I just can't think of any)

4) The series finale just plain sucks frog ass. (Seinfeld)

I know how most of my comics begin, and I know how most of my comics will end (King Smooth is the definitive execption to this rule. I honestly don't know or even understand that character, and I'm more than a little afraid that he's writing himself...). My goal is to give each of my characters a truly great ending when the time comes. Dunno whether I can pull this off, but it's something to aspire to.

Random Notes on Good Friday

First off, if I haven't drilled it home enough, the new issue of SDF, Lost Jigsaw Pieces, is available from TORC Press. Everybody dance!

Also, I've resumed my Production Updates. That's up over at www.myspace.com/torcpress.

Finally scored a copy of David Lynch's Dumbland the other day. It's a Flash Animated series. The drawings and the animations are ultra crude, and the cartoon is essentially about a thuggish, apelike, foul mouthed suburbanite wifebeating in a wifebeater Dad and the various dumb crap he does. It's ugly, it's violent, it's bizarre, and it's actually pretty fun. Once again, Lynch studies the darkness inside the human soul, but this time he plays it for laughs. Not recommended for everybody, but if you dig, uh, lemme think, underground animation (like, say, the Happy Tree Friends or the works of Bill Plympton), then check it out.

Also rented one of the "Masters of Horror" DVDs the other night. They were a bunch of 1 hour horror flicks that ran on Showtime awhile back directed by the creme de la creme of the semi-modern horror genre. The one I scored was "Cigarette Burns" by John Carpenter and "Dreams in the Witch House" by Stewart Gordon. I've been a fan of Carpenter's for quite a while, but unfortunately, Carpenter has always had a habit of being an uneven director. For every one Carpenter film that I Freaking Love, there's at least three that suck. Thankfully, Cigarette Burns falls into the Freaking Love catagory. Similiar to "In the Mouth of Madness" (which, if you haven't seen yet, shame on you), this time around it's a movie that drives people insane. Featuring a sufficiently mysterious plot, supernatural elements, and big old gobs of gore I got a HUGE kick out of this flick. Stewart Gordon directed a true horror classic, Reanimator, as well as some really good indie flicks like From Beyond, Dagon, and Lord of the Ants (or was it King of the Ants, damn memory). Gordon's entry, "Dreams in the Witch House" is pretty good. It's a little wierd, a little surreal, and there's some good old fashioned violence towards the end. Plus, I thought the ending was pretty shocking. A little slow at first, but a good flick. If you're into supernatural style horror that's good and bloody then check this two flicker out. Big time.

Lastly but not leastly, for those of you that celebrate Easter, have a Happy Easter. For those of you that do not, might I suggest taking a little time out this Sunday to tell the People you dig how much you care about them. Regardless of your Religion, we only get one trip around this crazy universe, so don't waste it. Unless of course you're Buddhist or Hindu. I don't know what to tell you then.

Promo Poll

Alright folks, it's Poll Time! About a week ago, Boolah came up with an idea for a new batch of T-shirts for the Convention Circuit this year. The one I'm going to be producing immediately, is the Official TORC Press 2006 World Tour T-shirt. (And, yes, I know, three conventions is hardly a world tour, but, hey, it's good enough for me...) The Tee will feature the TORC Press/SDF Logo and the World Tour '06 stuff, and the central image will be three boxes featuring Head Shots of three different TORCverse characters. Obviously, Cactus Joe will be featured in the middle, but the characters on the sides are still up for grabs. That's where this little poll comes in. Let your voice be heard! Drop me a line, either here on my blog, on my e-mail, or over on my myspace, and tell me which two characters (and characters who are a duo count as one) you think should be on the World Tour Shirt. I've only got a little bit of time, so get your responces in ASAP. I plan on having this shirt available in time for SPACE, as well as every other convention I will (hopefully) be attending. Thanks!

The Story Behind LJP

If you're just tuning in, "SDF: Lost Jigsaw Pieces" is now available from TORC Press. Details are up pretty much everywhere.

So, how did this issue come about? Well, originally, this issue wasn't even on the schedule. The original schedule for 2006 looked like this: SDF: The Great Race (Winter '06), SDF: Fight! Fight! Fight! (Spring '06), SDF: Foul Business (Summer '06), and SDF: Drifter's Rhapsody (Fall '06). As I was working on SDF: Sombrero Friday, I came to the realization that there were a handful of characters that I wanted to introduce before I did the Great Race. After much consideration, I pretty much completely rearranged the schedule. I decided the new issue would be called Lost Jigsaw Pieces (cause it would fill in some missing gaps), and it would be the new Winter issue (it still feels like Winter, right?). The Great Race got pushed back to Spring, I removed Fight!3 from the schedule entirely (believe me, you aren't missing anything), and I switched the positions of Foul Business and Drifter's Rhapsody (I did this mostly because I wanted the more Actiony issue to end the year on).

So, I had a new issue I hadn't planned on. What the hell was going into it? The first story was easy. I had originally planned on having a Mosquito Village story in Sombrero Friday, but due to time and space constraints, Sheriff Halloween and the Gang's story got cut. Since I now had all the space in the world, I could slip this fun little story, which reintroduces a number of TORCverse characters, into the book. One down.

Story two was also pretty easy. I needed an aliceislost story that featured Cheshy Cat. Some of you may already know what Cheshy Cat is, because the critter has appeared in the Webcomic, a Promo comic, and a few sketches. Ironically, this key member of alice's supporting cast has yet to appear in an "Official" issue of SDF. In addition, I wanted to introduce some key villians to the series, so this issue provided me the format for both. Two down.

Every issue has a Cactus Joe story, so I needed to Brainstorm one up. Using "Lost Jigsaw Pieces" as my theme, I came up with the idea for a story that would reveal little bits of history about Voodoo Dolly and Pengy Penguin. I decided against giving Cactus Joe any Flashbacks, because I want his past to remain largely nebulous right now. Also, I had the concept for a Fight Scene worked out in my head already, so I added that to the story and Presto! Three down.

Every issue of SDF also contains either a Walt & Sped story or a Frimpy story. Well, in "Very Odd Jobs" Frimpy got evicted from his house, and in "Sombrero Friday" Frimpy mentions that he's now living with Walt & Sped. Obviously, a story involving Frimpy crashing at the Cornhusker pad was neccessary. So, Bam! Four down.

After that, all I had to do was fill in the gaps with some stuff. Most issues of SDF contain a whiny soliloquy from Me, so there was that. And I hadn't done an Iggy/Liquid Jar strip for an issue, so that was pretty easy to work up as well. (Unrelated side note: I dunno if anyone out there likes my Iggy strips, but I'm developing a real fondness for them. They've got a very Old Fashioned quality to them...) Slap on a Hype Page and covers, and covers, and the book was done.

So, there you go, an inside look at how I organize an issue of SDF.

SDF: Lost Jigsaw Pieces!

Alrighty Then!!!! SDF: Lost Jigsaw Pieces is now available from TORC Press! Exclamation Point! The latest issue of the non-Critically Acclaimed, non-Award Winning Series is now Available just in time to put into an Easter Basket.

Since we just got the book in, we haven't had the time to add it to our online catalouge yet, so the only way to order the book is through Snail Mail (or, as one of my readers has done, just order an old issue and make sure to write in the comments sections of your order you want an issue of LJP instead...) right now.
Like all issues of SDF, Lost Jigsaw Pieces is 48 Pages of Black and White Mayhem for $5, plus $1.50 S&H. If you would like a copy, please send a check or money order to:

TORC Press
c/o Joseph Morris
330 S 5th St SW
Clay City, IL 62824

Now, waitaminute crazy comic guy, I sure as shootin' ain't buyin' no comic without at least a hint of what's in it. Good Point. Here's a rundown of this issue's content.

Cactus Joe the Clown: What starts as a simple miscommunication develops into a glimpse into the Past for both Voodoo Dolly and Pengy Penguin. Meanwhile, two new enemies launch an all out assault on the Clown.

Walt & Sped (with Special Guest Star Frimpy): Sped has a Romantic Dinner, while Frimpy gets accustomed to living in the Cornhusker house.

aliceislost: Diseased Card Men want to do horrible things to alice, but rescue comes from a rather unusual source.

Welcome to Mosquito Island: Coby has a mission, and in the process, introduces us to several of Mosquito Village's more colorful residents.

Also, there's brand new strips featuring Me & Buzby, Iggy Iguana, and Liquid Jar. Oh, and there's a ton of cameos by Duck Amok & El Panda. I CRAVE SODA!

So, y'know, check it out if you wanna.

Dead Week

I've been pretty incognito this week.

Which is understandable, cause this has definately been a crummy week where I've gotten nothing accomplished. Bah. Better luck next week.

The only thing of interest from this week, was that I got a promotional copy of "The Impatient Exorcist" in the mail the other day. "Impatient Exorcist" is the latest short film from Aaron Trudgeon and the crew over at Nofunfilms. Made on a shoestring budget, the flick is a surreal little number featuring such oddities as a demonic Laugh Track and a stop motion animated snowman demon. It's definately an intriguing short film. Their website is www.nofunfilms.com.

Oh, and I think Clay County may have declared a National Disaster Area. If so, I wonder if that jerk Bono's gonna hold a benefit concert for us...

Random Notes on a Random Day

According to the Weatherfolk, this is the last of our nice days before the next round of nasty ass weather hits. Apparently, Hell is a comin' on Thursday and Friday. If I survive that crap, then it's on to a fairly nice weekend.

Finally scored Shonen Jump. Yoh and the gang run afoul of a new enemy in "Shaman King". We finally learn about the last round of Ninja exams, and Naruto gets a rather interesting new teacher in "Naruto". Over in "One Piece" it's good old fashioned chaos, as our heroes load up on supplies, Luffy runs afoul of some old enemies, and some new characters are introduced. Sorta set up on every feature this month, but between the humor of One Piece and the intrigue of Naruto, I was still plenty satisfied.

Three Extremes is an anthology of Asian Horror Shorts. It's not bad. The middle feature, "Cut" is the most interesting, with some very inspired visuals and a plot that manages to somehow blend humor with psychosis. The first flick is pretty standard fare, and the third feels yet another take on the whole Ring/Grudge theme. Worth a rental.

So, Tom DeLay is resigning. But it certainly has nothing to do with all of the allegations against him. Nope.

Y'know, you can't really type sarcasm, but inserting the word "certainly" into a sentence does help to denote it...

In my dream last night, I found Cactus Ice Cream, but for some reason it was made with Candy Corn in the Ice Cream. Now, I like Candy Corn on some occassions, but it's definately not on my favorite Candy list, and I certainly wouldn't stick it in "Cactus" Ice Cream. Not sure off the top of my head what would be in actual Cactus Ice Cream, but Cactus Joe Ice Cream would have a mix of Raspberry with chunks of cookie dough. You heard me.

Ring of Honor: Chi-Town

Ahem.

The Ring of Honor Wrestling Show on April 1st, 2006 completely freaking ruled. There was virtually no suck to be found. If for some reason, you were a wrestler that participated in the ROH show that night, and you have found this site through Google or whatnot, I would just like to say that this die-hard wrestling fan thought you did a spectacular job. Of course, probably no one will see this. Which is funny, cause when I slandered a certain paintball establishment that one time, some dude actually saw the post and ragged on me for it. But now I'm being all complementary and no one will see it. Oy. Is it obvious I've only had three hours sleep? Everything blurry. Anyway, I just wanna say that all the matches were great and all the performers were great, but the whole night is kinda a big blur right now and I can't remember everyone's names, so if you don't get a mention, rest assured I still thought you did great. Except for them CZW guys. I'm sure given the right format, the boys from CZW do great work, but their little run in last night was extraneous and sloppy.

Moving on. Here's what I remember that totally blew me away, in no particular order.

Matt Sydell (spell?) is already looking like he's gonna be one of those excellent performers who never quite gets the credit he's due. Keep an eye on him, the dude is good.

The boys from Japan's Dragon's Gate group are superb! I have no idea what any of their names are right now, but rest assured those guys can get it done in the ring. I've never been a huge fan of the Japanese style, but these guys opened my eyes quite a bit.

Gotta love Alex Shelley. Even if you are supposed to hate him...

Also, Jimmy Rave is better than I thought he was.

I got to see AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, and (most importantly) Christopher Daniels in action! Wooo-Hooo!

I hate Jack Evan's Eminem gimmick. Having said that, that guy is easily the most gifted high flyer I've seen since the Amazing Red. The dude did a springboard 450 from the ring to the outside! Insane!

Jimmy Yang is real good. I can see why he's developed such a cult following.

I got to see Lance Storm wrestle a match that lasted over 5 minutes! Woo-freaking-hoo! Any wrestling fan worth a damn knows that Lance is easily one of the top 10 most underrated and underutilized performers of all time. His performance in the World Title Match was just brilliant.

Speaking of the World Title, ROH World Champ Bryan Danielson is, in my opinion, the New Rick Flair of the Independant Circuit. And I mean that in the most complementary way possible.

MATCH OF THE NIGHT: Austin Aries and Roderick Strong (am I spelling anyone's names right? I need sleep) vs. Generation Blood from Dragon's Gate. Dear Lord was this match AWESOME. You could have renamed this match The Passion of Aries. Austin got his nose broken very early in the match (we got an up close and personal view of a river of blood oosing out of Aries nose!), and proceeded to get the living Hell beat out of him for an extended period of time. The Japanese guys kicked, but Strong and Aries were not to be outdone, going toe to toe and move for move. Strong and Aries prevailed, with Strong hitting a Half Nelson Backbreaker followed by Aries crashing down with a 450. Boom Shaka-Laka! Oh, and since I'm making comparisons, in my opinion, Roderick and Austin are the New Dean Malenko and Chris Benoit.

And then, there was the main event.

Colt Cabana and Homicide went blow for blow in a knock down drag out kill or be killed Chicago Street Fight. Chairs, forks, bottles of rubbing alcohol, a ladder, and a barb wire board were all used. Blood was shed.

And then, a very unusual thing happened.

Homicide, who was on the outside, looked directly at the crowd, held up a chair, and said, "Throw these Mother fuckers into the ring." And just like that, the crowd began hurling chairs into the Wrestling Ring. A hailstorm of chairs. Half the chairs in the building. Flying in the air. Into the ring. Or at least near the ring. Until the ring was coated with chairs. And the ringside area was coated with chairs.

Now, for legal reasons, I'm not gonna say that members of my Crew threw chairs into the ring. I'm certainly not gonna say that my Brother threw close to twelve of the damn things. I'm saying nothing like that at all. But let's just say we were on the ground floor of a very bizarre and very exciting moment in wrestling history.

Oh, and for the record, I didn't throw any chairs, because I throw like a girl. Which is kinda sad really.

Oh, and Colt Cabana won the match and ended the fued, so there you go.

R-O-H! R-O-H!