Slammiversary Run Down

So, after last weekend's ECW PPV, many of us were filled with genuine hope for the future of Pro Wrestling. Those hopes were promptly dashed when ECW debuted on Sci-Fi. The first ECW show was a mess, full of too many commercials, too little wrestling, too many recaps, a vampire, the world's most unsexy striptease, and, apparently, I missed out on the Sandman beating up on a Zombie. Ugh. Unfortunately, the competition, TNA, did little to raise my hopes with their Slammiversary PPV this weekend. The blame can't be placed on the performers, but instead on whatever moron booked this calvacade of awkward match ups. Let's do the rundown, shall we?

Team 3-D vs. the James Gang was a fairly decent brawl. It would have been a great brawl if Team 3-D hadn't been stuck in the ring with a pair of (calling them has beens is a bit on the polite side if you ask me) has beens like the James Gang. Seriously, Kip James is actually worse at brawling than he is at wrestling (which is really sad if you think about it). The crowd, for some reason, was chanting "This is Awesome!" We were chanting "This is mediocre!"

Bobby Roode and Scott D'Amor vs. Rhino was a big old bad of ho-hum. All three guys are great performers, it's just that this match didn't click for some reason.

The X-Division 6 Man Elimination Match was the BEST MATCH of the NIGHT, hands down. This is what TNA is supposed to be all about. Every performer in the match was exempelary (spell?), the spots were dead on, and the match lasted just long enough. Sanjay Dutt was the definitive MVP of this stellar match, but I'm not taking anything away from Sharkboy, Petey Williams, Jay Lethal, Alex Shelley, and the recently returned Shin-Low Ki. The entire night shoulda been like this match.

Chris Sabin vs. Kevin Nash on the other hand. Ugh. Take one of the greatest wrestlers in the world today (that's be Sabin, for those of you uninitiated) and put him in the ring with a broken down has been who can't move (that'd be Nash), and you have a recipe for crap. Poor Sabin.

Christopher Daniels & AJ Styles vs. America's Most Wanted was pretty good. Again, the problem with the matchup lay in the fact that you have two of the best in the whole world (Daniels and Styles) taking on two guys who ain't (AMW). Still, Daniels and Styles still were able to turn this one into a Near Barnburner. Also, the guys operating the cameras in TNA need to be kicked in the head for screwing up the end of the match. It's called a WIDE SHOT, dinguses.

Jim Cornette was revealed to be the new face of TNA management, to absolutely no one's surprise. I wonder if he'll still run with ROH or not? Anyone know anything on that? Anyway, Cornette delivered one of his standard killer promos and moving on.

Samoa Joe vs. Scott Steiner was EXACTLY AS BAD AS WE ALL KNEW IT WAS GOING TO BE. Everyone thought that Joe was gonna beat the living hell out of Steiner. Instead Joe was restrained the whole match, while Stiener managed to drop Joe squarely on his head with a poorly executed Suplex. Oh, and it was pretty obvious that Steiner was terrified of getting a MuscleBuster, which is why he didn't get one. BOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

King of the Mountain. The most ridiculous match in Wrestling History. This match was a mess, littered with two many has beens and not enough good spots. Of course, what do you expect when the only performers who are worth a damn in the match are Christian and Abyss. That's three other guys who suck. Oh man, when (Spoiler Warning!) Jarrett won the match, the entire Impact Zone started throwing water bottles at the guy and Booing quite loudly. I kinda thought they were gonna riot. At the last second Jim Cornette snatched the belt away from Jarrett, so we're just gonna have to wait and see where this goes.

All in all, big old bag of disappointing.