Taste?

So, I watched Jarhead last night. It's a good film. Great acting by a cast that was just dead on the whole film. Solid technical work all around, fairly clever directing, and the story presents an even handed look at life as a soldier, both the horrifying lows and surprising highs. Plus, it paints an interesting picture of modern warfare. In a technical sense, there's absolutely nothing wrong with this flick.

Then why in the hell did I not like it?

And it's not the first time this has happened. I've watched tons of films that were supposed to be classics, that just fell flat with me. Hell, look at my Personal Film list over at www.myspace.com/torcpress. Notice anything missing? No Citizen Kane. No Apocalypse Now. No Godfather 1, 2, or 3. No Goodfellas. These are supposed to be the true classics of cinema, and I kinda thought they all sucked. So, the age old question is: Do I have poor tastes in movies (which is probably the correct answer, but would make for a short blog entry...) or is there merely a different set of unconcious criteria that I have set up in this mess I call a mind?

After much contemplation on this subject, I have come to the following conclusions, which I will present to the three or four of you that read this blog:

Joseph's Three Things that take a Story from "That Was Okay." to "Classic".

1. I have to like the Protagonist (spell?): I've found that if I'm not drawn to the central character of a story, then I have a really hard time staying interested. Likeability is a wierd thing. For example, in the Matrix, the Hero is Neo. He looks cool, he has super powers, and, hey, he's the saviour of the human freaking race. So why do I hate Neo? Because Keanu Reeves's performance is stilted, empty, dull, and emotionless. I really wanted someone to backhand the little punk when he said "I know Kung fu." He has no chemistry with that skinny chick either. What cool factor he develops from his abilities is lost in his character. On the other hand, look at Vincent Vega in Pulp Fiction. This dude is a heroin addicted assassin for hire who has dirty thoughts about his boss's wife. He's none too bright, he's fat, and he damn gets the aforementioned boss's wife killed. So why do I dig this morally foul character? He's charming. He's funny. He's has interesting conversations with people. He's a hell of a dancer. He's more human, and infinately more interesting than Neo. Or at least that's my take on the matter. What I'm trying to say is that likeability is not about who's a good guy and who's a bad guy. It's about the character. Cripes. Having trouble putting this into words. It's not even about charm or humanity. Like, Clint Eastwood in the Man with No Name films. He has NO redeeming qualities at all, and he's got no personality, but he's cool because he's such a bad ass.

2. Something has to happen: You thought the last one was vague? Check this one out. Something interesting has to happen at some point in a story. Something that catches my attention. But what is that something? I've watched movies where stuff blew up every two seconds and was bored stupid.
On the other hand, look at Clerks. Technically, nothing really happens in that movie, but it caught my attention early because of all the bizarre conversations. Hell, I still have trouble saying the word "Snowball" without thinking of the inmovie connotations from Clerks. A movie doesn't need something cool to happen a lot, it just needs something that will catch my attention.

3. The Ending Better Not Suck: I can deal with a lame ending. I can deal with an anti-climatic ening. I can deal with a film that doesn't even have an ending. But if the ending sucks, then I'm done. One of the best examples of a horrible, horrible ending is the film "Dogville" (which has usurped "Forrest Gump" as the single worst film of all time). The ending succeeds in promoting a horrible message, turns the heroine into an unredeemable villian, and sees the execution of the film's only likeable character. Bah!

So, by this criteria, we can begin to see why Jarhead fell flat for me personally, despite being a good film. After all, the central character is kinda an unsympathetic, paranoid jerk-off who gets himself in over his head, and never really figures a way out. Nothing happens that really grabbed my interest (although a few scenes came close...). The ending didn't suck though.

I dunno maybe I'm overanalysing all of this. Or maybe I'm just bored on a Sunday afternoon. Or maybe my tastes in movies suck.