'Tis the Season

I Love Christmas. I dig getting stuff, and I dig giving stuff even more. And, obviously, being a Baptist and all, the whole Jesus's Birthday thing is a pretty big deal as well.

So, in the spirit of giving and whatnot, I have decided to reinstate the TORC Press Free Sketch Program. Simply put, any orders I recieve for Comics (and only comics, Merch on my cafepress store doesn't count, mostly because I don't know when people order off of the cafepress site...) from now till December 25 will recieve a Free Sketch with their order. Simply tell me which TORC Press character you want a sketch of in your order. Orders can be through snail mail or through the website at www.torcpress.com/comicshop.html.

Now, some of you out there might be saying, "Gee Joseph, I'd sure like to get a free sketch, but I've already scored every issue of SDF." or "I'm too broke from Christmas shopping to afford your book, but I would dig a sketch". Welp, in the spirit of the holidays, I'll make you a deal. Merely send me an e-mail (my e-mail address is located on the contact section of the main site, or on the Hype Page of any of my comics) with your mailing info and which TORC Press character you want a sketch of, and I'll send you one free of charge. Only one sketch per person though. Happy Holidays!

Updates and Other Whatnots

Hope everyone had an enjoyable Turkey Day and a fun ensuing weekend. Let's get this show on the road, shall we?

Despite numerous delays that can only be blamed on my own laziness, the latest issue of the comic, "SDF: Sombrero Friday" has been delivered to the printers. Hooray! Now, before anyone out there gets too excited, it takes anywhere from two weeks to a month and a half for the printers to print up the book, so the book may not even be available before the New Year. Keep your fingers crossed.

As far as content goes... well, I'll give you all a quick sneak peek. There's a brand new Cactus Joe story, an El Gorio story, a King Smooth story, and a handful of short strips. That's all I'm giving away for now.

I've been having a series of vivid dreams again. I can never get used to adjusting to a dream reality that makes no sense, and then being summarily dumped back into the real world when my alarm goes off. For the record, on Saturday I was in an 80s Teen Sex Romp (where not surprisingly, I couldn't get laid) and on Sunday I had Lycanthropy. Yeah.

Yep, Giving Thanks

Alright Cats and Kittens, pardon me for a post, cause it's time to get mushy and give thanks to the good Lord for all that I've got goin' on.

I'm thankful that I've made another trip around the Sun.

I'm thankful that I've got the greatest friends and family in the entire history of the Universe.

I'm thankful that I'm getting better at controlling my mood swings (Note: I said better, not completely in control...).

I'm thankful that it's been a good year for TORC Press.

I'm thankful that I've managed to put out three issues of SDF this year (whether or not I meet my goal of publishing four this year has yet to be determined. Y'know what I'm NOT thankful for? The fact that I'm a lazy bastard.).

I'm thankful that I'm still getting ideas (whether or not they could be called good ideas is a matter of perspective, but I digress...).

And lastly, but not leastly, I'm thankful for Grant Morrison's Seven Soldiers Project, easily the most entertaining and inspiring comic series I've read in quite some time. The latest issue "Frankenstien" #1 is out. It is AWESOME.

Random Notes on the Day Before Turkey Day

A quick apology to my two or three readers, my posts have been a bit sporadic lately. Mostly, I'm trying to avoid bitching about stuff online, so I haven't had much to write about. Things will pick back up in December. Unless our computer crashes like it did last year...

The XBox 360 came out yesterday. A lotta people got all excited, but my responce to this whole thing is "Um, so?" Back in my day, a new video game system was a humongous evolutionary leap from its predecessor. The difference between the Nintendo and the Super Nintendo was staggering. Now, it's like "Buy our new game system, it's a little bit better than the old one!" Bah, I say.

Also, it's worth mentioning that, if my usual pattern holds true, it'll be about three years after the release that I'll be able to get an XBox 360 or a Playstation 3, so that may just be bitterness talking. Can't wait till 2009/10...

Welp, as usual, the only show on TV that I can get that's worth watching gets canceled. From what I can tell, Arrested Development, the funniest show since Sienfeld, has been cancelled. Now, with the exception of most of Fox Sunday Night and House, Fox is officially a TV wasteland.

On the bright side, King of the Hill finally returned on Sunday. To quote Hank Hill, "If the Class of 2000 really did rule, they wouldn't need to spray paint it on the side of a rock".

Hopefully, this is my last day of work for the week. There's still no reports from my Dad/Employer as to whether we're working Friday, but I'm hoping we won't. Just 8 hours of Freezing Manual Labor in a Harsh Landscape and I'm free. I think Boolah and Fitch should be wrapping up their work week as I am typing this. Dunno when Shafe gets freed from Cubicle Hell.

So, as I've mentioned before, I don't drink alcohol for my own bizarre reasons. My friends, on the other hand, like to occassionally indulge in a fermented drink or two. The other day, we were discussing shots, and what I would do if we were all trying to drink shots at the same time. So, we (mostly Boolah) invented my personal shot drink, the SPLATTERED BRAINS. To make a Splattered Brains, take one part Orange Juice, one part Cranberry Juice, one part Mt. Dew, and several drops of Tabasco Sauce, and mix em up. Drink. Think to yourself, "What the hell was I thinking?" The impact of this drink relies heavily on how much Tabasco you put in it, so if you really wanna knock yourself on your ass, dump in plenty of the hot stuff.

Keep...Moving...Forward...

Only a week and a half of this Godforsaken month to go. The last of the new webcomics is up over on the main site, www.torcpress.com. This one features me and Buzby, which seems to have something of a cult following among my handful of readers. Anyway, check it out.

I've sent a batch of three new webcomics to Shafe via good ole' fashioned snail mail, so hopefully the webcomic will remain on a bi-weekly basis for a while yet.

Things continue to progress slowly around here. I'm just trying not to shoot myself in the foot to badly right now.

Survival

I have had nothing worthwhile to Rant about this week. It's been cold as hell, and I'm just trying to survive the work day at this point. We'll see what we can scrounge up to talk about this morning...

Dad and I are going to try to Winterize my house this weekend in hopes that I can survive the winter without going broke. We'll see how that goes.

It's Deer Hunting Season! Woo! Crazed deer racing back and forth across the highway in a desperate bid for survival, and my odds of accidentally being shot increase slightly (although, it's worth mentioning that I could walk through the forest in a deer costume, and my odds of being shot are still slightly less than they would be if I lived in the inner city). All kidding aside, the Deer Population around here needs quelled, so I say, Good Luck to all our fearless Deer Hunters out in their tree stands. So strange, a good little Liberal like me supporting hunting...

Looks like "Harry Potter" and "Walk the Line" debut this week. Woo. Can you say Box Office Bloodbath? On the Potter front, I've never read any of the books or seen any of the movies, so going to that would be a waste of time. Just not into that whole spells and magic thing. As for Walk, I'm definately intrigued by the flick, even if I still think it is perhaps the most miscast film in history. The idea that that bitch Greasy Reese Witherspoon could score the Oscar this year makes me more than a little sick. I'm definately not catching it this week... maybe on DVD.

Wrestling Review Monday

The TNA PPV was last night, and I feel like yammering about it this morning. But first...

Apparently, Wrestling Superstar Eddie Guerero died on Saturday night. Eddie was one of the true greats, a skilled in-ring performer, he had a strong mat game, solid brawling skills, awesome aerial capabilities, and a definitive skill for telling a strong story inside the ring. I'll most fondly remember Eddie for his ECW feud with Dean Malenko, his wars with Chris Benoit, his tag team with his nephew Chavo, and his absolutely brilliant "Lie, Cheat, and Steal" Gimmick. Prayers go out to Eddie's friends and family. Via Con Dios.

As a related side note, on the slim chances that any Pro Wrestlers are reading this blog for some odd ass reason, for the love of God, don't abuse Pain Killers, especially cheap Mexican Painkillers. The Wrestling world has suffered far too many preventable deaths in the last ten years or so due to the abuse of Pain Killers. I know that I'll never understand the pain that wrestlers go through, but frankly, there are alternatives.

Okay, far too serious this morning. Let's get to the PPV.

Crummy matches: Raven's been exiled to only doing promos for three months now, so he had some ring rust going in. The fact that his opponent was ultra sucky wrestler PJ Policko (aka PJ Walker, aka Justin Credible, aka Aldo Montoya...) didn't help. Match sucked. I felt sorry for Raven afterwards. Three Live Kru (or is it Crew. Am I sppellling anyon's name write today?) continued to do the same crap they always do in a Hockey stick match with the brilliant Canadians. Snoozefest, and that lame ass Kip James may finally be the official fourth member of 3LK. Whatever. And oh man did the Jeff Hardy/Monty Brown match suck. Monty Brown's hand picked to be the next NWA world champ, and he's the suckiest wrestler in the locker room. Plus, Jeff Hardy looked cracked out the whole match.

Enough bad, on to the good. The Eight Man Elimination X match was freaking awesome! Besides showcasing the best and brightest from the X Division, well... really, that's all you need to know. After the match, Samoa Joe turned against his tag team partner Christopher "the Fallen Angel" Daniels (aka my hero), and beat the living piss out of him. It's not the first time I've seen Daniels take a world class beating to put someone over, and I'm sure it won't be the last. The funny part is, Joe was supposed to turn heel, but the crowd was solidly behind him, while Daniels was supposed to go face, which sucks cause Daniels is an awesome heel.

AJ Styles vs. Petey Williams for the X Division Title was awesome. Two wrestlers at the absolute top of their game, letting it all hang out in the ring. Jaw dropping.

The Main Event, pitting the Dudle...er, I mean Team 3D (don't sue me Vince) and Rhyno vs. America's Most Wanted and Jeff Jarrett was better than I though it would be. Mostly, the match was just a wild brawl, but that can be a good thing. Better than I expected.

Lastly, a quick word about TNA's latest acquisition, Christian Cage. In the WWE, Christian was one the most brilliant, but horribly underrated performers in the organization. He coulda been huge, but the WWE didn't want him to be anything more than a mid level heel. Now he's in TNA, and hopefully, if he can keep his in-ring game up to his usual standards, and continues to be a brilliant interviewee, then I sincerely hope that TNA places him in a worthwhile place in the company. Squandering this guy's talent twice would be a crime.

Random Notes on Veteran's Day

Welp, I promised an upbeat piece today to make up for yesterday's creepfest, but I'm feeling a wee bit unmotivated today. The fact that today is Veteran's Day, which bears the distinct paradox of being an important holiday that's still not important enough for me to get off work, doesn't help.

I'm almost acclimated to the Time Change. I haven't woken up at 5am since last week.

I'm kinda having a time period where I don't have either the time or money to watch the handful of movies I wanna watch. I've already missed Wallace and Gromit, and now Jarhead, Good Night and Good Luck, and the new Zorro movie are all slowly slipping out of theatres without me having viewed them.

On the bright side, I'm in no rush to see "Get Rich or Die Tryin'".

(Seriously folks, could there be a more appropriate title for this New Millenium? Also, have you heard that 50Cent fellow talk? Dude's got a speech impediment. How's a dude with a speech impediment get his own film?)

Ahem. I'm getting tired of that picture of the Meatnormous sammich on Boolah's blog. Besides being perhaps the most disgusting sammich ever (I got a thing about eggs, and I'm not a big fan of sausage...), I find it wierd that Boolah always puts the most disgusting pictures up on his blog and then leaves it for a week. I still have nightmares about that "Fat Jerret from Subway" picture.

Sorry folks, bit of an injoke.

I gotta work on the book and the webcomic this weekend, and I need some groceries, cause if I don't get some decent tacos this week I'm gonna lose what little is left of my mind.

Harsh Perspective

It's never a good idea for me to do a serious post, but since our theme this week seems to be bad ideas, let's just go ahead and do a serious post...

I hate the news. Besides the fact that news is just news and not actual journalism anymore, as callous as this sounds, pretty much nothing that happens on the news has any actual bearing at all on my life. None. Things are going to hell in a handbasket all over the world (at least according to the news), but out here in the middle of nowhere, everything's just peachy keen. Still, when I watch the news, it makes me feel crummy, because I either have empathy for all the people who have suffered one tragedy or another, or I get pissed because of all of the people that rip us all off every day without any sort of payback.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago (or so), they announced that the official American Death Toll in Iraq was over the 2000 mark. Again, that's just American soldiers. It doesn't count Iraqui civilians, police, hostages from other countries, or anyone else that's died. That number's a LOT higher. 2000. I just kinda filed that number away in the file cabinet in my mind marked "Horrible Things I Can Do Nothing About" and went on with my life.

Then, yesterday, for no good reason, that number jumped out of the file cabinet, and put itself into perspective. Y'know what 2000 is? That's the ENTIRE POPULATION OF MY HOMETOWN OF CLAY CITY. TWICE. That's like rounding up every person I've ever known, and killing em. And quite a few other people besides.

Again, sorry. I'll write a happy go lucky article tomorrow. Today I'm too busy being freaked out.

Ode to Bad Ideas

So, I've pretty much trained myself since birth to come up with story ideas. While other kids were running and playing and throwing around a baseball, I was conducting the extended adventures of Indiana Jones in my back yard. (Side note: Poor Bro wanted to be one of those kids playing sports and whatnot, but with me as his brother he ended up spending a lot of time as Indiana Jones's never mentioned in the movies sidekick, Illinois. Yeah) Ideas come naturally to me. The problem, of course, is that not all of my ideas are good ones. In fact, some might argue that none of my ideas are good ones, but that's neither here nor there. When I do have a bad idea, I'll rarely completely trash it. Instead, I file it away in a little spot in the back of my brain, and every so often I'll take it out and tinker with it. I'll work a bad idea over until it slowly transforms into a worthwhile idea. In fact, I think that's one of the keys to being a good writer, is to recognize when something sucks, and to be able to fix it over time.

I'll give you an example. Back in 2000 (aka TORC Press Year 1), I was producing a Xerox comic called Pulp Horrorshow on a fairly regular basis. It was a crude comic, simply written, poorly drawn, and the inks...well, let's just not go there. But, it was, and still is, a good comic because of the sheer enthusiasm and heart I threw into every issue. That, and every issue was violent as hell. Anyway, the main theme of Pulp Horrorshow was that I had these Monsterous characters who were sorta thrust into the role of superhero, who then fought other monsters (Sorta like Hellboy without the great art and writing, but with a lot more decapitations). I loved Pulp Horrorshow, but I needed more. So I came up with (cue the ominous music) The Bunnyville Experiment. It was different in almost every way. It was bigger (PH was 24 pages an issue, BE would be over 50), the stories were more experimental and wierd. The art was more experimental. And the characters didn't quite fall into the same mold as my previous ones. I worked my ass off, and I thought I had produced a masterpiece.

Except, I hadn't. After giving copies to my usual readers (aka, friends and family), I started to learn that my little experiment may not have been as successful as I thought it was. The general concensus was that, the art was bad/rushed, the stories were underdeveloped, and alot of my artistic experiments did not work at all. Now, generally speaking, when your own support network reacts this harshly to a work, it's not a good thing. Needless to say, I "canceled" the Bunnyville Experiment after one issue, and sent all of my story ideas for it to a little corner in the back of my brain.

Now, here's the important part of today's long winded Rant. Despite how crummy it was, the Bunnyville Experiment has served as the springboard for many of my best ideas. Pengy Penguin and Iggy Iguana both made their first appearances in that issue. El Gorio and Liquid Jar both evolved from concepts that started in the Experiment. A short strip called the Dystopian Reader led to a comic called "Mr. Macabre" (which also sucked) which I currently am revisioning and will probably reintroduce in a later issue. The surrealist tone of the overall issue was the starting point for many of my stranger works, such as King Smooth, Broken Tea Cup, and BoJangles. Plus there was a story called "Cogs in the Machine" that I have recently rebuilt and expanded on, and will probably appear in SDF sometime in 06 or 07. See, even from a total failure good things can come.

Lazy

I was born lazy. I grew up lazy. I wanted to grow up to have an easy job, preferably Artist or Scientist (not very specific, I know, but I was a kid at the time), which would be handed to me on a silver platter, and would pay enough that I could live comfortably. Then I could sit around in my copious amounts of free time and watch TV and eat Twinkies. In my underwear.

Then, one summer, while other kids were learning to ride their bikes and fishing and whatnot, my Dad took me off to the Family Sawmill. For the next X Number of years, I'd spend every summer working my ass off, full time, in this lovely little hellhole. Then, I grew up, and spent all of my time working in our family's lovely, rotting, little hellhole. Then I decided I wanted to make comics, so in addition, I began spending a decent chunk of my nights and weekends huddled over a drawing board cranking out comics that very few people would ever read.

The Moral of the Story is this: Destiny has an Uncanny Habit of Biting You in the Ass.

Still, every so often, I get to let my inner Lazy Bastard out. This weekend was one of those rare occassions. When I wasn't sleeping, traveling, or watching the ROH show, I was at home watching TV or playing video games. I'm not proud of it, it's just something that needs to be done every now and then. Anyway, now that I'm back from the abyss, here are my two central priorities:

Task #1: Finish "SDF: Sombrero Friday". Only a few more pages and the covers to go.

Task #2: Work up some new webcomics and mail em to Shafe before he runs out.

So, as usual, being my old lazy self is no longer an option.

Wrestling and Celebrity

If you haven't checked the main site (www.torcpress.com) in awhile, there's a new webcomic up featuring that master of captivating dialouge, BoJangles. Check it.

So, as I mentioned on Friday, the troops and I rolled out to the ROH show on Saturday in Chi-town. Well, sorta Chi-town anyway. After downing some White Castle, we went to the show, and I gotta say, it frickin' ruled. All the matches were excellent, most notably: an 8 Man War between AJ Styles, Axel Aries, two other guys who were excellent, but I forgot their names, vs. Prince Nana, Abyss, Johny Rave, and Alex Shelly, the ROH World Title match between Rodrick Strong and the American Dragon, and a Special Challenge match between Samoa Joe and my new hero The Fallen Angel Christopher Daniels. The whole night was just freakin' awesome, totally warranting the ridiculously long drive up and back, as well as the fact that I spent most of Sunday in a coma.

A wierd thing happens to me when I'm around semi-celebrities (and yes, I know, wrestlers from ROH/TNA are hardly celebrities, but I respect them, and I've seen em on the TeeVee, so that's close enough in my book). My brain splits in half. One part of me is all calm and rational about it, and the other half becomes a screaming little girl. For example, last year I went to the San Diego Comicon International for the first time. I was sitting around outside the convention center, regrouping and reading an issue of Love and Rockets. When, suddenly, Stan Lee and a small throng of worshippers walks by me. Now, one half of my brain was like, big deal, it's Stan Lee, whose contribution to Marvel is painfully overrated and who hasn't done anything worthwhile in Decades. The other half of my brain was like, It's Stan "the Man" Lee, the Father of Marvel comics, who is like unto a god! Where's my camera? Gyahh!

Needless to say, the smart side will keep me at a distance. But the girly side has a picture of the back of Stan Lee's head.

Road Trip

Well, unless something else goes wrong, looks like the Crew and I are rolling to Chicago to catch Ring of Honor Wrestling. ROH is easily the best non-televised (or do they have a syndicated show somewhere? Anyone?) wrestling promotion going today, and a lot of the best talent from TNA also wrestles for ROH. Should be worth the trip.

Because the trip is a bitch. Some of you might be saying to yourself, "But, Stupid Comic Book Guy, you live in Illinois. Don't you pretty much live in Chicago anyway?" Nope. That's easily the worst misconception about Illinois, is that all roads lead to Chicago. Frankly, I've only been to Chicago, like, 7 times in my life, and that was for the Chicago Comicon on every occassion. It's actually easier for me to drive to Missouri, Indiana, or even Kentucky, than it is to drive to Chi-town. But the really bad part, is that once you get past Springfield, the scenery goes to crap. It's like from Springfield to the burbs of Chi-town you've accidentally slipped out of Illinois and ended up in Kansas.

Having said that, I do think Chicago is a swingin' town, and I typically enjoy myself every time I'm there. But if I'm gonna drive 5 1/2 to 6 hours, there better be some event I'm a goin for.

Trudge

November sucks. It is, without fail, the worst month of the entire year. In fact, I wrote up a post yesterday about how bad November typically is, and as if in responce, my computer randomly deleted the damn thing.

Still, I feel like maybe I can make it through this year. I'm getting better at budgeting my money, and all I really gotta do is adapt to the time change. Frankly, I'm thinking about permanently reintroducing caffiene into my diet. I hate to be dependant on any chemical, but, damn, I'm having trouble staying up past 9pm so far this week. Anyway, if I can get my body's clock working properly again, and I can keep my moods fairly level (no easy task during a good month, let alone during November...), and I can avoid my usual bouts of November Super Bad Luck, then I'll be fine. I'm thinking about trapping one of the rabbits in my yard and taking its foot for good luck. Course, I guess that'd be bad luck for the rabbit...