Sugar Crashed

Who am I? Where am I? What day is it? What time is it?

Um... My name is Joseph Morris. I produce a self published comic called SDF that some people think is cool and lots of people think is repulsive. I'm about an hour away from going to work at my "real" job at the family sawmill. I'm in my parents basement on my parents computer because I can't afford one, in the armpit of Nowhere (aka, glorious Clay City, IL). I'm in the USA, which is still the greatest nation in the world, which is ironic, cause pretty much since our country's inception the nation's been run by the biggest pack of Psychopathic, Criminal Lunatics in history (hell, even Abraham Lincoln was a nuerotic who had chronic bouts of severe depression...). It is October 31 (true Halloween), 2005 (which is 5 years after every preacher and conspiracy theorist I ever listened said the world was gonna end...), on a Monday. It's 6:30am. On Saturday it would have been 7:30am.

Okay. We're cool. Sorry about that folks. I've always gotta reboot the systems in my brain after the Dreaded Time Change. Ugh. Spring forward, fall back, kiss my ass. Woke up at 5, fell back to sleep, had a really vivid dream, where, as usual, I was back in high school. Why that stupid ass place still haunts my dreams is beyond me. Maybe it's because I had a very retro weekend, spending a large chunk of the weekend hanging out at Ma and Pa's house watching Cartoon Network. I didn't pull my head out of my ass until Sunday night, but on the bright side, I got a lotta work done on Sunday. The last issue of SDF for the year is slowly nearing completion.

Sugar Buzz

Trick or Treat night has come and gone. I had a decent number of trick or treaters show up at the house, although I'm always a little wierded out at how few of the people I know. I'm trying to decide whether it's because I am indeed the world's biggest hermit, or whether people I know just don't know where I live, or both. Eh. Whatever. On the upside, I had plenty of candy left, so that's cool. I need to put on some winter weight anyway. Another thing that bugs me about Halloween in Clay City is the sheer number of kids who aren't wearing costumes. What's up with that? When I was a kid and it came time for halloweenin' I'd grab an old sheet and some of my mom's leftover Mary Kay and go out as "Bloody Face Ghoul Guy". It's better than "Army Guy" which was the most common male costume. Or "Princess" which was the most common female costume. I'm trying to decide whether the parents are too lazy or too broke to score or make their kids a decent costume. Hell, this year I didn't even have time to make or score my own costume and I still wore my Leatherface mask all night. Hell, nearly scared a couple of kids away with it too.

Totally off the subject, but I've been wanting to mention this for a couple of weeks now. Has anyone heard of J. H. Williams III? He's one of the best artists working in the industry today. He's got an incredibly clean, realistic style, that, somehow, still has life and energy and emotion. He conducts these incredible, eye-catching experiments with panel arrangement that are both complex, and at the same time, surprisingly easy to read. And he can vary his style at will, without losing the central essence of his own art. The fact that he's been paired up with some of the best writers in the industry hasn't exactly hurt either. So far I've seen his work in Promethea (written by Alan Moore, the most brilliant of the ABC books, although Top Ten is still my favorite), Desolation Jones (with Warren Ellis, insane sci-fi spy comic, one of the most entertaining reads being published right now), and Seven Soldiers #0 (with Grant Morrison. I've spent a lot of space on this blog hyping the entire Seven Soldiers project, but even if you don't wanna check out the whole massive undertaking, #0 is worth it for the breathtaking art alone). So the point of all of this if this: Has anyone out there in ComputerLand seen anything else that J.H. Williams III has done? I'd really like to search around and see if I can find his other stuff.

Candy!

Welp, it's Trick or Treat night in fabulous Clay City, IL. Or at least I've been told it is. All my big plans of decorating the house and scaring the local populace have went completely out the window because I've been working overtime on the comic. So, instead, I'm gonna throw on the Leatherface mask I bought a couple of years back and hand out candy like a good little boy. I still gotta roll to Flora to pick up a couple of fat ass sacks of candy bars. None of that candy corn/tootsie roll crap at my house. Three Musketeers and M&Ms and Milky Way and KitKat baby. Maybe I'll have some left over and then I can coke out on sugar for a day or two...

Oh, I made up that "Coolest People" List (see previous entry) at 6am, so I forgot some people who probably should have made the cut.

Grant Morrison- Revolutionary British Comic book Writer. Should have a statue erected of him for his work on "The Filth" alone. Should have another erected for "WE3".

Alan Moore- Lunatic Revolutionary British Comic book Writer. Wrote Watchmen. That's really all I need to say.

Mick Foley- Further proof that my memory's slipping, I forgot to put Cactus Jack on the List. Besides being the namesake of Cactus Joe, Foley's the greatest Wrestler EVER (well, okay, greatest all around in and out of ring performer ever...), and any time I feel like my life is rough I can just watch the footage of the King of the Death match tournament. The only reason I forgot him is because he's been retired for a few years now, and wrestling's been on such a downward spiral lately, it's not forefront in my mind anymore. A shame really.

Updates and Fluff

I am such a scatter-brain. During alla my hyping yesterday, I forgot to mention that the main site, www.torcpress.com, has been updated. The Cast section now has full color images of BoJangles, Kanabub Abul, and Lab Bunny. The Cast section of the website is neat in my opinion for two reasons, 1) it's the only place you can see my characters in color, cause I can't afford a color cover on the book, and even if I could I can't fit every character on every cover, 2) sometimes I put important bits of information in the bios. Of course, some characters need to remain mysterious, so they get shorter, more oblique bios.

Anyway, enough hype, I promised pointless inanities today, so here's my:

Top Ten Coolest People of All Time Who Don't Live in Clay City, IL or St. Paul, MN, and are not Jesus

10. George Washington Carver- Invented, like, a thousand uses for peanuts. And then invented a bunch of uses for potatoes. Man, if one dude could come up with that many uses for such common things, then why don't we have a usable alternative to fossil fuel? Anyone?

9. Glen Danzig- My favorite metal performer. I can't explain why, but Danzig's goth metal just kicks my ass.

8. Samuel L. Jackson- I hate celebrities. I really hate actors. But we'll make an exception for Mr. Sammy Jackson. Why? He was absolutely awesome as Jules Winslow in "Pulp Fiction", and he's was the most bad ass Jedi EVER as Mace Windoo. You know which Light Saber is his? It's the one that says Bad Ass Mother Fucker on it.

7. Hunter S. Thompson- Drug addled gonzo journalist who attacked life (and Richard Nixon) like a rabid pit bull. After his death, his ashes were shot out of a cannon. Makes me think about what I wanna do for my funeral.

6. Frank Miller- Wrote and/or drew some of my all time favorite comics, including his stellar runs on Daredevil and Batman, as well as Sin City and 300. Wrote the scripts for Robocop 2 &3, which admittedly, were not as good as the original, but were still pretty damn good. Plus, he co-directed Sin City, which is still, easily the best film of the year.

5. Jim Henson- Gave us the Muppets, Seasame Street, Fraggle Rock, the Dark Crystal, Labrynth, and the Jim Henson Monster Shop, which has responcible for some of the best costumes and movie effects in cinema history. Shaped the limitless boundaries of my childhood, and I'm still a fan of the Muppets as a mature adult. Died too young. We can forgive him for the travesty that is Elmo.

4. David Cronenberg- On the outside he looks like a college professor. On the inside he created and directed some of the most screwed up films ever, like the Fly, Naked Lunch, eXistenZ, Videodrome, and ect.

3. David Lynch- Lynch is crazy as hell. He's got a flock of seagulls haircut, a nasally voice, and he's proud to be an Eagle Scout. He also directed such ass stomping films as Wild at Heart, Lost Highway, Eraserhead, Blue Velvet, and ect. Also responcible for creating the greatest TV series EVER, Twin Peaks.

2. Jack "The King" Kirby- The most powerful creative mind in history. Created or co-created Captain America, the Fantastic Four, Dr. Doom, Galactus, Iron Man, the Hulk, the Inhumans, the Eternals, Etrigan the Demon, the early Avengers, the early X-Men, Magneto, the New Gods, Darkseid, Mr. Miracle, and more others than I can think of. Designed Spider-Man. Mostly importantly, created the character that got me into comics in the first place, the Silver Surfer.

1. Hugh Hefner- C'mon. You can't be that surprised. He's 400 years old and is being held together by a combination of Viagra, duct tape, and voodoo magic. Despite this, he lives in the world's most beatiful mansion and is surrounded by beautiful 18 to 25 year old women all the time, most of which are his girlfriends. Yeah. Every dude wants to be Hugh. Any dude who doesn't is lying.

One Last Push

No, that's not a pregnancy joke. This is my absolute last sales push for the month of October. After this I go back to writing inanities. But in the meantime, it's time for HYPE!

All throughout the month of October we've been running the TORC Press 6 Year Anniversary Promotion. Simply put, you purchase any TORC Press comic, and I send you a free sketch with your order. And when I say sketch, I don't mean some doodle on a napkin with a Sharpie marker. I mean a fully drawn, fully realized, fully inked sketch on high quality bristol board, perfect for framing. It's like I'm giving you a Full Hour of my life just for buying one of my comics (well, full hour may be a bit much. Depends on the character. I can draw Broken Tea Cup in less that ten minutes...).

And we've got a brand new issue out on top of it all. "SDF: Very Odd Jobs" has, to date, been favorably recieved by everyone I've talked to. It's a bit more straightforward than normal, there's not much violence, and there's some sexual dialouge that made one person uncomfortable, but otherwise, reviews have been positive. All in all, the book has been called hilarious, intriguing, damn wierd, and pretty kickin' all the way around. The new BoJangles story, which I was afraid might bomb, has turned into something of a cult favorite as well.

Remember, this offer ends as of November 1st, so don't miss out! To order "SDF: Very Odd Jobs" or any other TORC Press comics, head on over to www.torcpress.com/comicshop.html. HYPE!!!!

Ambition

I'm not a perfectionist (cue a chorus of "duhs" from the audience...). I'm not saying I don't admire perfection. I'm as big a fan of the Star Wars and Lord of the Rings triologies, Watchmen, Top Ten, and WE3 as the next guy. And I'm not saying that I'm not striving for perfection in my own work. I'm just smart enough to know that I'm not there yet, and probably won't be for some time to come.

No matter how badly you wanna criticize my work (and believe, given the sheer level of imperfection in my work, that's an easy task), you absolutely cannot deny that one of the strengths of my work is that it is Ambitious. I'm doing things that most other wouldn't dare to, in ways that most other people wouldn't approach (of course, whether this is commendable is debatable...). Hell, just the fact that I'm self publishing comics on a modest salary while working a full time manual labor job in a town in the middle of nowhere is pretty damn ambitious. I remember reading an article on some chick who self published while working full time in a deli. I thought to myself, "Deli, huh? Man, bet that's easy..."

The point of this Rant is this, I would rather watch/read a technically flawed work that is Ambitious, over a technically superiour book that is just another batch of the same old same old. What prompted this Rant is that over the weekend I watched "From Beyond". Here's the rundown. Director Stuart Gordon had just finished "ReAnimator" (an absolute B-Movie CLASSIC! If you're into to horror and haven't seen ReAnimator, than for the love of all that is holy go out and rent a copy today), which was based on an H.P. Lovecraft story, but was essentially an incredibly inventive Zombie movie. For his follow up, Gordan wanted to make a film that was truer to the Lovecraftian mythos. So he did "From Beyond" which is about a pair of scientists that build a machine that harmonically resonates, stimulating the dormant pineal gland in the brain. As a result, they can see all the horrible things that live with us day to day but we can't see cause they exist at a different harmonic resonance, and of course, the horrible things can see them. For all intents and purposes, "From Beyond" is a great movie. Great acting/writing/directing/soundtrack. So why have you never heard of From Beyond? Three words. BAD SPECIAL EFFECTS. In Gordon's desperate attempt to recreate the unspeakable horrors from Lovecraft's imagination, he ended up settling for cheap latex costumes that fall apart upon close scrutiny. Of course, it was the early 80s, and CGI was unheard of, so whadaya expect? Having said all of that, I own a musty old copy of "From Beyond" which I spent months searching actively for. Why?

Because I respect ambition.

That and there's at least one really good decapitation...

Recipe

Here's a change of pace.

I love cooking. I didn't really discover that I loved cooking until I moved out of the parents house and decided that, although I do enjoy frozen pizzas and subs and PB&J, there are times where I'd like an actual home cooked meal. So, I bought myself a couple of Mexican cookbooks with some recipes I thought sounded good, and away I went (Editor's Note: For the record, I'm not a Mexican, I'm a redneck. But frankly the old roast and mash potatoes diet that's so prevalent around here has never appealed to me. I like Mexican food cause it's full of flavor and heat and spice.). Long before I started learning to cook, the only thing I could reliably make was tacos. So, for those of you in the audience who have never cooked before in your life, I give to you the easiest recipe in the whole wide world. This is the ultra-simplified version, so feel free to add your own variations.

CACTUS JOE'S BASTARD TACO RECIPE

Hamburger (Ground Chuck or Round will also work. How much hamburger you get will depend on how many you're feeding. 1lb will usually work if you're alone, 2 to 4 if you're feeding multiple people)
Sharp Chedder Cheese (One regular size bag should do)
Pace Picante Salsa (One Jar, mild/medium/hot)
Flour Tortillas (Again, how many depends on how many you're feeding. If you're alone, 5 should suffice. If you're feeding a bunch, then a bag or two. My prefered brand is AZTECA. Avoid Homestyle, cause they're too thick)

Preparation: Spray down a skillet with non-stick Cooking Spray. Dump the burger in it, and put it over High heat on the stove. As the burger is cooking, use a long plastic or wooden spoon to continuously move the meat around (no jokes please). Try to break up any clumps, and most importantly, try to keep the meat from burning. Your goal is to get all the burger to a consistent shade of grey. If you see any pink, then you haven't cooked it enough. Pink bad. Once the burger is throughly browned (again, no pink), remove it from the heat. You can either drain off the excess fat, or if you're lazy like me, mearly use a slotted spoon to scoop out the burger. Place the burger in a bowl and cover with tin foil to keep it warm.

Remove the tortillas from the package. Place the tortillas between two paper towels, and lightly dampen the top paper towel with tap water. Place the tortillas (in the towels) in the microwave. Nuke em about 45 seconds to a minute. You want them to be warm and flexible.

Take everything to the dinner table.

Assembly: Lay down a tortilla. Place a stip of burger along the middle. Cover with a layer of cheese. Spoon on a third layer of salsa. Wrap up the tortilla, making sure to pinch up the back end so all the crap doesn't go flying out the back. Devour. Repeat. Enjoy.

See? Easiest recipe in the world. Well, except for PB&J perhaps...

Almost There

I set three goals going into the year, but after I found out that Comicon International and Shafe's Wedding were the exact same day (damn Cosmic Jokes...), I knew that only one of my goals was doable. That goal was to publish four issues of SDF in one year. So far, I've published "SDF: Strange Patterns", "Perfect/Ugly", and the recently released "Very Odd Jobs" (which, incidentally, can be ordered over at www.torcpress.com. Cheap Plug). The last issue of the year, in theory, is "SDF: Sombrero Friday" which is a violent comic with a silly name. The problem, of course, is that I need to deliver it to the printers either before the end of October, or very early in November if I want to be sure that the book gets printed before New Years. The problem with that problem is that I still have over half the book to ink. And contrary to common belief, inking ain't no short process.

Long story short, this one's gonna be a close call on all fronts.

Albatross, Fly Free

The Final Installment of "Fish Story" is up at www.torcpress.com/webcomic.html. Right now, looking back on it, I can see why I wanted to try to do a continuing series of webcomics, but man, in practice it sucked. The strip just kept going and going and going, and never seemed to be near an end. And it seemed like the longer the strip went, the less inspired I became. I'm not saying I'll never do another Continuing Series of webcomics again (as Bond would say, Never Say Never), I'm just saying that's it's gonna be awhile before I do. Instead I'm going back to the old fashioned one page quick hit style webcomics that I was doing before. Those seem to work out better, and if I don't like one, it doesn't matter cause I've already ended it. Y'know?

Last night's horror flick was the Prophecy, which is an important flick for several reasons, but most noteably, it was one of the works of fiction that convinced that Angels could make very interesting, very scary Villians...

Second Time Around

Got to watch a couple of movies I wanted to watch in theatres, but never got the time to, this weekend. Here's the rundown.

"High Tension"- Easily one of the goriest flicks I've seen in awhile, the film's strength lies in the sheer tactile realism of many of it's bloody, bloody effects. Unfortunately, that's the film's only strong suite. The film completely collapses at the end with perhaps the single worst twist ending in film history. I'm not kidding, the ending to this movie is so bad it makes the crappy ass ending to Saw look almost palatable. Almost. And the worst part of all is, it's not really that surprising of an ending either. Long story short, a flick with a lot of brutal potential is completely ruined by a pathetic ending.

"Unleashed"- Here's a Wierd Animal, a kick ass action flick with brains and a soul. Bob Hoskins and Morgan "He's not God, but if he was God I wouldn't mind" Freeman are excellent as the diametrically opposed father figures. But it's Jet Li who truly shines. For years, Jet Li's been cursed with being one of the most amazing action performers on the planet, yet having the face, voice, and grasp of English of a small, innocent child. With this film, that curse becomes Li's saving grace. It is completely believable to watch Li as Danny, a young man who's been trained since early childhood to be an animalistic killer. When he finally escapes from his "master" Hoskins and takes refuge with Freeman, it's like watching a small child who has finally entered into a larger world. Excellent work, excellent film. Oh, and the fight scenes kick ass.

Horror films watched this weekend: Watched the Fly as promised, also, I had something of a Clive Barker Fest, watching Lord of Illusions, Candyman, and Hellraiser: Bloodline. I woulda watched Nightbreed as well, but my VHS copy has officially crapped out on me. Looks like I'm gonna have to break down and buy the featureless DVD version. Which kinda sucks, because I was hoping Anchor Bay or some other company would release a Special Edition sometime. Oh well. On a slightly related side note, my character, Detective Shirac, was inspired by Peloquin from Nightbreed.

Updates and Bloodletting

Alright! Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, children preferably over the age of 13! TORC Press and the mad ringleader himself Joseph Morris (that's me!) proudly present: SDF: Very Odd Jobs, now available for online order at www.torcpress.com/comicshop.html. Hurry, hurry, hurry git yer copy now and score a lovely homemade sketch drawn by one of the freaks from our freakshow! (That's me again...)

In related news, my list of horror flicks I plan on watching over the course of this October season hasn't changed much. After all, a classic is still a classic. So far, I've watched Bubba Ho-Tep, ReAnimator, Jason X, and the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Before the season is over, I need to watch Freddy vs. Jason, From Beyond, Shivers, Evil Dead, Army of Darkness, Hellraiser, Hellraiser 2, The Thing, The Nightmare Before Christmas, and probably a few Zombie movies. And that's just the stuff I can think of at 10 till 7am. This Saturday is the TORC Press 6 Year Anniversary party, where we will be watching David Cronenberg's The Fly, the film which singlehandedly redefined my entire perspective of the universe. Over the Halloween weekend period, I absolutely must watch Evil Dead 2 and Hellraiser 3.

Endurance

So, I wasn't sure what to blog about today, until I happened to blip on comicbookresources.com and saw an article that stated that "Witchblade" is officially 10 years old now. That's right, a lame ass character that no one cares about anymore and was only a cheap extension of a cheap trend (bad girl comix) in a medium no pays attention to, has been around for a decade. And speaking of lame ass characters no one cares about in mediums no one cares about, I'm pretty sure that my flagship character, Cactus Joe the Clown may be almost as old. Gimme a second to do the math...

Cactus Joe the Clown was first created when I came back from my first (and only) disasterous year of enrollment at Southern Illinois University back in 1997. Damn. Eight years. Oh well, we'll do CJ's ten year anniversary in 2007.

But since we're on the subject, I'll tell you flat out that in his original incarnation, Cactus Joe was a blatant rip-off of Sweet Tooth from the Twisted Metal video game series. Pretty emberassing, huh? Well, inspiration comes from all over the place sometimes, and I needed a new lead character to represent how my life had changed post-college. The fact that I chose a psychotic, murderous Clown who was also a hero as my new lead should give you an idea of what frame of mind I was in at the time.

The Clown's changed a lot over the years. In the beginning, his head was on fire and he dressed like a bum. Over time, he became a kung fu guy, a Batman rip-off, a Pinhead rip-off, a tech guy, and at one stage he was this supernatural monstrocity that ripped his enemies apart and then used their bones and internal organs as weapons. That one was a little too dark.

I didn't really have the Clown figured out until "Super Duper Fun Comix: Violent Video" (the fourth issue of my last pre-SDF series). Here's the thing, he's ultimately just this relatively laid back dork, who happens to be unkillable, while having the uncanny ability to kill others really easily. There are still elements of other characters to his "ability set". He still has some tricks that are eerily reminiscent of Pinhead. But at the end of the day, I think the Clown, over the course of the last nine years has evolved into his own unique character that continues to grow with every story I create.

In two years, Cactus Joe will be 10 years old. I should definately throw him a birthday party then. Now if I could just remember what month I created him in...

Hype! Hype! Hype!

Back in the old ECW days, when they were running promos for upcoming shows, this little runty guy called Lance Wright would come onscreen bellowing Hype! Hype! Hype!

Anyways, I'm still hyping my latest comic "SDF: Very Odd Jobs", so without further ado, here's my:

TOP TEN REASONS TO BUY SDF: VERY ODD JOBS

10. You'll be helping support a small press publisher that virtually no one has heard of or cares about.

9. For you red blooded men in the audience: Voodoo Dolly looks really hot this issue.

8. For you ladies in the audience: aliceislost returns.

7. For you mental patients in the audience, I've got two words for ya: Broken Tea Cup. Oh wait, that's three words.

6. Although this issue is lite on the Violence (although there's still a little here and there...), I think the sheer darkness of the story "This is BoJangles" more than makes up for it.

5. You think your life sucks? Check out the latest installment of "Frimpy". Remember, things could always be worse, you could be hounded mercilessly by Fluffy, Pink Bunnies.

4. Perhaps the wierdest strip I've concieved to date, "Liquid Jar" is in this issue.

3. For those of you that picked up sketches of Lab Bunny at conventions, and then went, "Hey, this guy ain't in any of these comics!", welp, Lab Bunny debuts in this issue.

2. For the rest of the month of October, all orders recieve a free, made for the occassion sketch of the SDF character of their choice.

1. Over in the main story, we finally get to see how Cactus Joe and Pengy earn their cash, and we see some continual development in the CJ/Pengy/Dolly friendship. As I used to say back in the old days, "The Epic Continues..."

SDF: Very Odd Jobs

UPDATES! Scroll to the bottom for some new info!

After more delays, set backs, screw ups, and whatnots than I can shake a stick at, "SDF: Very Odd Jobs" is finely available! Woo! The basic rundown on the book is the same as usual, 48 Pages of Glorious Black and White with a Black and White Cover for $5, plus $1.50 S&H. It's currently only available through Snail Mail, but we should be adding it to the Online Store soon. If you'd like a copy, send the aforementioned $6.50 to:

TORC Press
c/o Joseph Morris
330 S 5th St SW
Clay City, IL 62824

Now, to actually hype the contents of the book. For starters, this issue is not as violent as the previous issue was, and leans more towards the Strange/Funny groove that "Strange Patterns" had going on. There's some really interesting, really experimental work in this issue, so if you're feeling adventurous, this is a good issue to pick up. It also introduces a couple of key new characters, and features the return of some characters who appeared back in "Crumpled Planet". Here's the rundown:

Cactus Joe the Clown: Have you ever wondered how a Killer Clown and a little Penguin can afford to live in a house, watch old movies, and eat tacos all day? Welp, wonder no further, as this issue answers the age old question: Where do these two get their cash from?

Broken Tea Cup: Tea Cup is hopelessly lost and confused. Will a timely reunion with an old friend put him on the road home, or only leave him even more confused?

This Is BoJangles: In perhaps one of the strangest stories I've ever created, BoJangles gets ready to go out on a blind date. Believe me, it doesn't sound like much, but this one is just freaking odd. Also, this story was inked with a brush, something I rarely do (for good reason). The resultant is thick, ugly, dirty, and beautiful all at the same time.

Frimpy: Frimpy's life continues to suck.

aliceislost: aliceislost and some new friends discover the many dangers of Jump Rope.

Welcome to Mosquito Island: In previous issues we've seen Mosquito Village and Mosquito City, now we travel to Downside, a haven for scumbags of all shapes and sizes. In the middle of this mess is Sheriff Kanabub Abul, a scorpion tailed maniac who has a really difficult time keeping the peace. Besides the introduction of Kanabub, this issue features the debut of a Very Important TORCverse character.

In addition, there's brand new strips featuring Me and Buzby, Chupa-Chupa the Dancing Monkey of Love, Iggy Iguana, and an absolutely horrible new strip entitled "Liquid Jar". And by horrible I mean strange, lovely, and potentially vomit inducing.

UPDATED: I almost forgot! October is the 6 Year Anniversary of TORC Press! So, for the rest of the month of October, all orders I recieve (Snail Mail or Online) for TORC Press comics will recieve a free, homemade sketch in addition to the order. If you plan on ordering from me, just make sure to include the name of whichever character you want me to draw in your order.

Rock on!

Slowly but Surely

The new webcomic is up over on the main site! Just head to www.torcpress.com/webcomic.html, check it out, blahblahblah. The computer I use for some reason randomly lost the ability to save anything I scanned, so I've been unable to e-mail Shafe any of the new installments. So, we got primitive, and I just mailed four of them to him. That means, since they'll be released bi-weekly, that I'm set for 7 1/2 weeks. I plan on mailing him another batch of four soon, or at least as soon as I have enough ideas to warrant it. I've got two in my head right now, and it shouldn't be hard to come up with some more.

6-3-3-3

Six Movies. Three Cities. Three Theatres. Three Days.

Friday Night: City #1: Effingham, IL (45 min drive from my house). Theatre #1: The rustic, old school Heart theatre.
Movie #1: Murderball- This is a documentary about the US Olympic Quadrapeligic Rugby Team. That's right, it's a bunch of guys in wheel chairs rolling around, smashing into each other, and throwing a ball around. The documentary not only studies this bizarre, albiet exciting sport, it also looks into the lives of the men who play, as well as other quadripeligics. The most important thing I learned was this: Apparently, being in a wheelchair makes you a babe magnet. Yeah. A very good doc, my only real complaint was that there was less actual footage of "Murderball" games than I thought there would be.

Movie #2: Broken Flowers- Bill Murray stars as Don Johnston, an aging Don Juan whose most recent relationship has ended poorly. When Don gets a letter in the mail from an anonymous former lover claiming he has a son, Don is encouraged by his neighbor, amatuer detective Winston, to search out his former flames in hopes of discovering which one is the mother. This is one of those quiet, subtle films that critics love and people with short attention spans sleep through. I dug it well enough, mostly because Bill Murray is awesome and the character of Winston is brilliant (even if he doesn't get near enough screen time).

Food Consumed: Jimmy John's Vito Sub and Jalepeno Chips.

Saturday: City #2: St. Louis, MO (2 1/2 hour drive from my house) Theatre #2: The Tivoli Theatre on Delmar. Ultra classy joint. None of that Multiplex crap here.

Movie #3: Mirrormask- A young woman who lives/works in her parents' Circus becomes frustrated with never having a normal life. After a particularily harsh fight, her mother collapses and is taking to the hospital to await surgery. While worrying about her mom, the woman, Helena, becomes inexplicably trapped in aa bizarre dreamworld where she ends up on an even more bizarre quest. If you're a geek, you've probably heard of this one by now, the Jim Henson company's Dark Crystal/Labrynth-esque film by comikers Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean. I could ramble on and on and on about how big and bold and beautiful this movie is. I could. But why waste time? Watch this movie, it is eye candy for the Hardcore Dreamer. Highest Recommendation.

Movie #4: The Aristocrats- A documentary about the filthiest joke ever, told by over 100 comedians. There was a lotta hype going into this movie about how scandalous it was and alla that, and frankly, it's not that shocking, and it's not nearly as funny as everyone makes it out to be. Hell, you'll hear far more shocking stuff if you hung out with me and my Trained Howler Monkeys on a Saturday night. Having said that, there are certain versions of the Joke that are Hi-Larious, most noteably, the Ventriloquist bit, the South Park version, and, believe or not, Gilbert Godfried and Bob Sagat (yes, I said Bob Sagat)'s version. Not bad, but not as wonderful as everyone said it was.

Food Recap: Lunch- Tomatillo's Mexican Grill, Steak Chimichanga. Supper- Qdoba's Mexican Grill (you heard me), Steak and Shredded Beef Taco.

Sunday: City #3: O'Fallon, IL (about 30 mins from St. Louis, about 2 hours from home). Theatre #3: Wehrenberg Theatre O'Fallon a gaudy, neon colored, stadium seated multi-plex. Beggars can't be choosers.

Movie #5: Corpse Bride- Claymation. Victor (Johny Depp) is forced by his parents to marry Victoria, despite having never met her. He gets cold feet and runs off into the woods to practice his vows. Unfortunately, he accidentally marries a rotting corpse bride instead. Chaos ensues. A so so story is saved by great characterizations and brilliant visuals. I love Stop Motion Animation. Of special merit are the scenes in Dead Town, which are chock full of interesting Cadaverous Characters. There's a couple of lame songs, but not enough that you'll wanna run screaming from the theatre. Not as good as the Nightmare Before Christmas, but worth watching regardless.

Movie #6: A History of Violence- Y'know, I don't feel like giving away any of the plot of this awesome film. Just go watch it. It's brutal, it's smart, it's creepy, it's riveting, and it is an absolute must watch. Viggo Mortensen is excellent. Strangely enough, this still isn't Director David Cronenberg's best film, but it's still 1000 times better than most of the crap out right now. Highest Possible Recommendation.

Food Count: Lunch- White Castle, Chipotle Chicken, Jalepeno Cheez Burger, and Onion Rings, Supper- McDonalds Cheese Burger and Big Mac.

Whew.