Fajitaville

Random notes from this wonderous Memorial Day weekend.

Balderdash is a board game built around lying and detecting lies. Despite my inherent paranoia, I'm surprisingly trusting, and I'm easily the worst liar in the history of ever. As such, I'm the worstest Balderdash player of all time. Boolah's Girl, Sarah, on the other hand, is a world class liar. Fun game though.

So, have you ever been drawing a scene where one guy disposes of another guy's corpse by dumping the body in acid, and you think to yourself, A) What has brought me to this point in my life where I'm drawing this kinda morbid stuff or B) How the hell do you draw an Acid Vat? Anyone?

Fajitas are good. Fajitas with homemade tortillas and salsa are extra freaking good.

Another game I suck at but have fun playing: Croquette.

Star Wars Episode 3, just as rocking the second time.

My buddy Fitch and I remain undefeated in the board game Cranium. We are officially accepting challenges from foriegn Cranium teams.

Payday

Ha-Ha! I've made it to Payday! It's just like the board game Life! Woo! I'm not broke anymore! I can buy groceries, gasoline, and for the love of all that is holy, for the first time in two weeks I can buy comics! Halleluiah (spell?)! Halleluiah (spell?)!

The only upside to having no actual cash was that I was able to stay home and work very hard on the book all week. I actually gained quite a lotta ground, truth be told. In fact, most of the side stories for "SDF: Very Odd Jobs" are done. I'm still working on the main story, and what will hopefully be one more side story, and then that project will be done ('Course, that's still, like, 20 or so pages of material to go...Me and my bright idea to make the book 48 pages...).

I am buying hamburger and masa harina tonight and nothing can stop me. And I'm watching Star Wars Episode 3 again tomorrow. At a matinee. Cause if you watch movies at night anymore, annoying teenyboppers show up and ruin everything.

Sorta Deadline

So, me and my bad ideas, I've set a sorta deadline for SDF: Very Odd Jobs. I want to get it to the printers in early, early June. I want to do this for several reasons, namely, 1) It is my "Summer" issue, 2) Shafe's Wedding is in mid-July, so I want it either done before then, or in printing during, and 3) Although I still haven't got a table confirmation, I plan on being at WizardWorld Chicago, which is August 5-7, and I want the book in print and ready to sell by then.

There's just a few problems with that scenario. For starters, I currently don't have the funds to print much of anything. This can be remedied by careful financial planning, and just not spending a lot on stuff. The second problem, of course, is time. I have a little over half of SDF: Very Odd Jobs done. Which means I need to complete another 24 pages in about two to three weeks. This is not only unlikely, it's just this side of impossible. So, I'm not sure what I'm gonna do yet. It may be time to start staying up till 3am working on the comic again, like I did back in the olden days...

Anti-Anti

So, I don't do this very often, but I'm strapped for time. Over on Boolah's blog (mightyboolah.blogspot.com), he's got a thing about the current reverse trend of fatting up fast food. The anti-Atkins, anti-Jared thing. Well, the more I think about it, the more I realise that I really just don't care about fast food anymore. I mean, I'll eat there if I have to, but at the end of the day I'd rather eat at a decent Mom and Pop place (ie, not the Waffle Hut) , or a good pricey restaraunt, or just make the meal myself. It's not about any sort of dietary anythings, it's just that, frankly, most fast food tastes like crap. Sure, that's part of its allure, but all in all, I'm tired of it.

So, I think I'm gonna start the anti-Atkins, anti-Fast Food diet, where I just eat stuff that doesn't suck.

Brain Glue

Oof. Trying to reassemble the pieces of the dream I was having before the alarm went off. I can remember large, blue monsters with burning red eyes that were covered in horns. I remember I was in this huge forest, and it looked like autumn, but everything was this wierd shade of purple/pink. I think this all had something to do with a Nazi Mad Scientist who was conducting unholy experiments on Corpses. Not sure though. Doesn't really matter, I woke up before the climax anyway.

In My Comic news, I'll be sending the latest updates for the Cast section of the website to my WebMaster after work. Other than that, work is slowly but surely progressing on the next book, "SDF: Very Odd Jobs".

In Other News, lost a bunch at Poker last week (forgot how much I sucked at Poker...), caught Star Wars: Episode 3 and enjoyed the hell out of it (I'm pretty sure I'll be in the minority again), and spent most of the week trying to figure out how to survive on virtually no money. Thankfully, I've still got some Chorizo in the fridge.

IT'S HERE!!

"SDF: Perfect/Ugly" has returned from the printers!! Much earlier than expected to boot. It's back, everything looks good, and I am dancing my Happy Dance. Once again, we're still working out the bugs on our online ordering service, but for those of you considering the mail order route, here's the rundown.

"SDF: Perfect/Ugly"-- 48 Pages, Black & White Interiors, B&W Cover. No Interior Ads. No Filler. Pure Content. Stories Include:

-Cactus Joe the Clown: As Joe and Pengy attempt to adjust to having a new roommate, an enemy emerges, putting everyone in danger.

-El Gorio: Throughout the treacherous, wind-swept plains of the Far West, there is an outlaw/bounty hunter who is more feared than all the rest. He's the nastiest, meanest, most brutal son of a bastard who ever walked the earth. And his name is...EL GORIO!!!

-Jom Smythe: Jom Smythe used to be a member of the illustrious Urianium Secret Police. Now, he sits alone in a run down shack waiting for his atomic half-life to run out. Will a threat from the past reawaken this Cosmic Detective?

-Q: Queelix is a Amphibiaman who lounges around and writes Haiku. Quagmire is a towering mass of Volcanic rock in Boxer Shorts who goes around fixing things. Do I really need any more of a description?

-Welcome to Mosquito Island: Welcome to Mosquito City the largest (and only) city on Mosquito Island, the loveliest tropical island in all of Southern Illinois. Mosquito City's two best detectives, Shirac and Xavier Mystery, are hanging out eating donuts and talking Star Wars, when a call comes in. Law enforcement was never this violent.

-Plus, there's new Walt & Sped, Me & Buzby, and Iggy Iguana strips.

Ordering info: SDF: Perfect/Ugly is $5, plus $1.50 Shipping and Handling (it used to be a buck for S&H, but increasing postal rates have caused me to up it. Sorry.). Please send Check or Money Order to:

TORC Press
c/0 Joseph Morris
330 S 5th St SW
Clay City, IL 62824

The Spring issue is done! I'm halfway to my goal of getting 4 comics done this year! Wooo-Hooo!!!

Wishful Thinking

So, as I've mentioned before, I'm walking a bit of a financial tightrope at the moment, what with my insurances due and my tires needing replaced and whatnot. It's times like these where, as a way of chilling out, I like to think of things I would do if, suddenly, I was super freakin' rich. Not neccessarily Bill Gates rich or anything, but stupid rich all the same. And instead of listing the same old same old (aka, Quit my job at the sawmill, do a better job of publishing the comic, give money to poor, blah, blah, blah...), I've decided to list the dumbest things I'd do with my money.

5) I would have my own personal Mariachi band, which would accompany me wherever I go. That way, people would know I was coming cause they'd here the Mexican Hat Dance from a distance.

4) Build a bigger house than my neighbor's house, on my current property, soundproof it, and then hire bikers to come in and ride around at all hours of the night. That, and I might hire someone to kill their horses and that damn yappy dog of theirs...

3) Purchase the "Hellraiser" franchise and make a kick ass Hellraiser film where Pinhead wins in the end. (Can you say "Box Office Bomb"?)

2) Have my own custom car built. Think about it, Driving around in the TORCmobile with my Mariachis hanging out in the back. Incidentally, my car will need a grappling hook so it can drive up walls.

1) TACOS For EVERYONE!!!!!

Sputter

I was gonna do a Rant about the Inking process, or maybe a Rant on tacos. Unfortunately, given my current headsplitter of a headache I've only got the following:

What I Would Do If I Had a Time Machine Right Now: I'd go back in time and kick the living crap out of whoever the hell invented tele-marketing. If I get woke up at 5am one more time...

Isolation Booth

It was as good a weekend as any to go into hiding. After all my left passenger side tire is about to give out, and, thanks to the fact that every insurance bill on the planet is due at the same time in May, I am functionally broke. Plus, the only event going on this weekend was a Poker tourney, and since I've haven't played a worthwhile game of Hold 'em in months, I figured I was better off pocketing the $5 and staying home. And so I did, all weekend long.

The Key to Isolating yourself from the Real World and Working on something is this: Pacing. You can't spend all of your time working on the comic book, cause if you do, your brains turn to mush and eventually the only pages you'll churn out will look like crap. On the other hand, if you spend too much time resting between pages then you'll never get anything done. Another Key is Noise. Pop in a CD or a DVD or a VHS tape or something. You need something to con yourself into thinking you're not alone, even though you are. Playing movies or TV comps also has the added bonus of given you something to occassionally step away from the page for. For example, when the big climax for "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels" started up, I stepped away from the drawing board for a minute, cleaned off my ink pen, and took a few minutes to enjoy Englishmen beating the crap outa one another.

If you can set a good pace, and stay focused, you can do some pretty good work in a short period of time. Over the weekend I got several pages done, which gives me quite a bit of head way on the next book.

Side Note: I did poke my head out to watch the TNA Wrestling PPV on Sunday. Great stuff all around, with Raven vs. Sean Waltman and Christopher Daniels vs. Shocker being the showstoppers.

Stack o' Books

First and foremost, the new webcomic, aka "Fish Story Pt. 3" is up over on the SDF: Nonreal link over on the main site, www.torcpress.com. The story is starting to gain a little momentum, so check it out.

Aside from that, I didn't mess around with Free Comic Day this year. Don't ask me why. But, Bill, the owner of my local comic shop, Sinking Ship Comics in lovely Olney, IL, went ahead and saved me a copy of everything and tucked em away inside a plastic bag for me anyway. So, I've got a nice fat stack of books to read through. Of course, I didn't really have time last night cause I had a nice fat stack of books that I'd actually paid for to read through as well, and those took priority.

I woke up this morning and had to run an extensive diagnostic on myself just to remember how to work my arms...

Production Schedule

After much contemplation on the subject, I have decided to more or less finalize the TORC Press Production Schedule for the remainder of 05 and the entirety of 06. I'm doing this for two reasons, 1) to give the small handful of people that read my work a general idea of when my stuff will hopefully be coming out, and 2) to keep myself on task so I don't get lazy.

I have decided that Quarterly is the best approach for now. Monthly or every two months isn't really an option right now. Not only can I not produce 48 pages reliably in that time, but I don't have the money to publish that regularly. On the other hand, if I only produce 1 or 2 issues a year, I'll never be able to get a good rhythm going, and it'll take forever to tell all the stories I need to tell. So, Quarterly it is. So, without further ado, here's the tenative TORC Press Production Schedule for 05/06.

"SDF: Perfect/Ugly"- Release Date: Late May/Early June 05. Content: Will be announced shortly.

"SDF: Very Odd Jobs"- Release Date: July 05 (fingers crossed). Content: The only definate stories will be a Cactus Joe and an aliceislost story. All other content TBA.

"SDF: Sombrero Friday" - Release Date: October 05. Content: A Cactus Joe and El Gorio story are the only definates. All other content TBA.

"SDF" ? - Release Date: January 06. Content: Cactus Joe story, all else TBA.

"SDF" ? - Release Date: April 06. Content: Cactus Joe story, all else TBA.

"SDF" ? - Release Date: July 06. Content: Cactus Joe story, all else TBA.

"SDF" ? - Release Date: October 06. Content: Cactus Joe story, all else TBA.

Banditos

I don't buy evolution. There's too many loopholes, too many obvious falacies, and frankly the whole dang thing comes across as a buncha cheap answers that a buncha scientists came up with so they'd look smart to everyone else. (Now having said that, one might argue that the only reason I disagree with evolution is because I'm a Baptist. Which may be partially right. But ultimately, evolution doesn't make a whole lot of sense and has zero spiritual resonance, while Christianity doesn't make a whole lot of sense and has a great deal of spiritual resonance, not to mention the centralized theory (namely, be good to each other) is a perfectly brilliant approach to life, even if it is virtually impossible to put into practice. But I digress...) If I was gonna buy into evolution, I'd be more apt to believe that man evolved from Raccoons instead of Monkeys/Apes/whathaveyou. Think about it. Raccoons are Greedy, Neurotic, and Surprisingly clever. Sounds a lot more like humanity than any old monkey.

(By this point, the reader should be thoroughly confused and possibly wondering how I'm going to relate Evolutionary Theory, Religion, and Raccoons back to Comics or Movies somehow. Unfortunately, this entry has nothing to do with any of that)

Back last winter, I discovered I had Raccoons under the house. My 100 year old house has a number of exposed areas underneath it which make perfect entryways for wild animals. Using these underground pathways, the Raccoons would crawl around, bang into my water pipes, scratch on things, and generally keep me awake at 2 or 3 am. To make matters worse, the damn things little tunnels gave them access to the two sealed off rooms in my house, which they proceeded to wreck and crap all over. Needless to say, I called in my father, and we went about the task of sealing up the underbelly of my house.

Since that time, I've successfully kept them out of the better majority of my house. Unfortunately, there's one place where they just keep getting in at. And thumping around. And waking me up. Which is why I'm typing this at 5am.

Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. Other days it's preferable to get out of bed than to listen to all of the scratching.

A Long Story About a Short Saturday

So, I'm in Evansville, IN on Saturday, doing things that need to be done. And I get em done early, so I decide to tool around town and catch a flick. First stop, Hobby Lobby to score some Bristol for the webcomic and various sketches, and India Ink for obvious reasons. (Fun Fact: Hobby Lobby now has a policy where they keep the India Ink locked inside a glass case. You gotta trek through the labyrinthine building in order to find an employee, and then beg then to unlock the case so you can acquire something of dire importance to your business. After you get the Ink, then the employee has to ESCORT you from the back of the store all the way to the cash registers. Apparently there has been a rash of ink theft that has warranted these policy changes.) So, I escape Hobby Lobby without being shot dead by the Hobby Lobby Secret Police, and then head on to Comic Quest. I acquire "The Grip" #1-5 (a very, very odd miniseries that Gilbert (Love & Rockets) Hernandez did for DC/Vertigo. Recommended, but only if you're into severly odd stuff) and the last Dragonball TPB (Goku vs. Piccalo, baby!). Rolled on to Best Buy, scored "Kill Bill Vol 2" for Mom for Mother's Day (at a good price, too). Then went to Barnes & Noble to skim a newspaper for Movie Times and read a magazine or two. Ended up buying "The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Collection" (hey, it was on sale) as well as a cookbook devoted entirely to Salsa (cause I just don't have enough salsa recipes).

Lunchtime. Went to Biagi's, an Italian place Ma and Pa recommended. As an odd side note, most people I know won't eat out alone, and they certainly won't eat out at a fancy restaraunt alone. Me, I stumbled right into Biagi's in my faded, unwashed, five year old White Zombie t-shirt and paint stained jeans and said, "Table for One, please". Screw pride, I want good food. Anyway, the place ain't bad. I eat a dish that consisted of Rigatoni, Marinara sauce, Italian Sausage, and Goat Cheese. Good stuff, although I kinda wish I'd tried out their Lasagna instead. Hunger sated, I moved next door to Borders. I was looking for a movie or two by Luis Bunuel. Couldn't find one, so I settled on a collection of short surrealist films by some German guy.

Movie Time. So, I had to travel all the way across E-ville just to go watch "Millions" at the Stadium 16. Matinees are good, cause not many people show up. Total number of people in the theatre, including myself, was six. Nice. Anyway, had to suffer through a National Guard ad (Side Note: Y'know, alla these Military ads go on and on about how you'll be such a wonderful person if you join the Military. But, at this point in my life, I've known at least a dozen people who have joined the Military. Most didn't get out of Boot Camp, and all the ones who did bear deep, lasting mental scars from their time in the Armed Forces. In other words, those ads are total bullshit.) Sat through a rancid ad for the new Honeymooners movie, followed by a rancid ad for the new BeWitched movie. Oh, and there was that rancid ad for Sprite that features that stupid ass doll with the afro.

Right. "Millions". If you're feeling cynical, you might as well skip this one. It's not for cynics. This is director Danny Boyle purging himself after such nightmarish (but awesome) flicks as "Trainspotting" and "28 Days Later". It's wide eyed, optimistic, and touching. Boyle's directorial vision shines through throughout. In the hands of a lesser director this could have become sentimental, Hallmark pap (and, it does borderline on it anyway at times), but ultimately, Boyle stays the course and produces an uplifting film that doesn't make you wanna vomit. Kudos.

After that, gassed up the car (damn gas prices. Build another fucking Refinery already), scored some White Castle Jalepeno Burgers (Kiss my bowels goodbye) and went home.

Face Front

Some Comic Book Creators love doing Covers. After all, it's just one big, fat, static image that is your book's face to the world. It's where you're supposed to show off, pop a wheelie, do a hand stand, and ect. Most of the Original Image Guys were Cover Artistes Extraordinares, and in fact, most of em nowadays (most noteably Todd McFarlane and Rob Liefeld) just run around doing the Cover and not bothering with the infinately more complex interior work.

I, on the other hand, fricking Hate doing the Cover. I've been producing comics for Five Years now, and in that time, I've only produced one cover that I think truly kicked ass (my amigos should be able to guess which one...). My covers don't flat out suck, but they're not the big selling point for my book that they should be. And the worst part is, when I'm working on a Cover, I get the worst case of stage fright. Horrible ideas run through my head, like, "Is the anatomy right?" "Are the proportions right?" "His eyes look funny." Y'know, stupid crap like that. That's why I always try to get people to flip through my book, cause if they bought it based on the Cover, I'd never move a damn issue.

What prompted this Rant was that last night I redid the Cover to "SDF: Perfect/Ugly". The first cover I did lacked...pizzazz. So, I redid it, and I spent the whole time second guessing myself, and fixing crap, and agonizing over a portion of the book that I personally don't give much of a crap about. For me, a comic is it's interiors. But that's just me.

Revenge of the Webcomic

The Webcomic has returned! Finally! I had this thing done weeks ago, but do to my lack of understanding of how to properly operate a computer, I was unable to e-mail the thing off. Anyway, it's up now, and hopefully I'll have the next installment up by next week sometime. Check it out over at the main site (www.torcpress.com). It's part two, so if you missed part one, just hit the back arrow to read the first installment. Righty-0.

I already recommended one Warren Ellis comic this week, so might as well just keep hyping the British Maniac. "Ultimate Fantastic Four" #18 from Marvel and "Desolation Jones" #1 from Wildstorm/DC are out this week. Both rock. Oh, and Desolation Jones contains a subplot about Hitler Porn and features a character called Dirty Sanchez. And by typing those words on my computer I have just increased the number of hits this site will recieve exponentially.

New Shonen Jump finally arrived in my area as well. Good issue overall. "Naruto" was short, but worthwhile, as Naruto himself finally gets to kick a little ass. "YuYu Hakusho" was actually enjoyable, as was "Hiraku no Go". Skipped "Yu-Gi-Oh". "Shaman King" was a slambanger of a fight between Yoh and Ren. Real Good.

But the best part was, we got FOUR installments of "One Piece", which ultimately brought the Don Krieg saga to its conclusion. If I taught a class on Comic Books, and I had a Chapter on the Art of the Fight Scene, this issue would be used as a Lesson in that Chapter. Highly Recommended.

I Fought the Lawn and the Lawn Won

BAD... The Spring growing season hit quicker than I expected, and now my yard looks akin to a Wildlife Preserve (admittedly, the only animals on my property are birds and bunnies, but I digress).

WORSE... Whenever I want to mow my lawn, I have to borrow my Brother's truck, my Uncle's trailer, and my Dad's lawnmower and haul it all down to my house, then haul it all back.

WORSER... The weather has been unseasonably cold lately, so I have to mow my lawn wearing bib overalls and a grey hooded sweatshirt in order to keep from freezing my kangos off.

WORSER STILL... My lawn is so horribly overgrown that before I even get a third of the way through my lawn I bust a belt on the mower, effectively ending my lawn mowing for the day.

BUT THE WORST PART OF ALL IS... At this rate I'll never have the honor of being the Clay City Garden Clubs Yard of the Month. Dammit.

Tee-Hee.

Your Recommended Mainstream Comic of the Week is "Ultimate Secret" from Marvel. It's written by Warren Ellis (the artist does a bang up job, but I can't remember his name right now) and Issues #1 and 2 are currently available.

Thumbin' a Ride

So, way back when I was a teenager, and single celled organisms were trying to figure out how to become multi-celled organisms and Kurt Cobain was like unto a God (both before and after he blew his brains out), my Father and I were at home, bored, and watching our television. Back in those days, we only had five channels, and one of em was, of course, PBS. On that fateful night, my Pa (back in those days we allowed our Elders to control the Clicker) happened to flip it to PBS. It was there that we encountered a very, very strange British TV series entitled (drumroll please) "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". PBS was having one of their pledge drives (which I think occur every two months or so), and they were marathoning "Guide" as a part of the drive. So, vaguely intrigued, Pa and I watched this series about an exploded earth that was actually a computer, super intelligent mice, officious alien bueracrats (spell?), and an ordinary British man in his bathrobe who stuck in the middle of all of this. I didn't get to finish the thing (I think I had to go to bed), but the sheer bizareness of it all stuck with me.

Flash forward a few evolutionary cycles (Dolphins have mastered telepathic communication and Birds have learned to fly), and I'm in a Movie Store in Terre Haute, IN purchasing a couple of anime. Shortly after I had made my purchases, I noticed a stand up display in the store which featured the new, features laden edition of the flick "Memento" (highly recommended, by the by), and sitting right next to it was (drumroll please) the complete "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" on DVD. Without hesitation (I wasn't on a shoestring budget back then) I bought both DVDs. Upon viewing it, "Hitchhiker's" proved to be a hell of a buy. Sure, it was an out of date BBC series made on a low budget, but the bizarre characters, odd situations, and wierd humor were all there.

I never got around to reading the books, though. That may change.

Anyway, flash forward a few more millenia (Yeti have mastered the wheel, mammals are born), and (drumroll please) "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" is now a big budget movie released by Disney. Ugh. By Disney? I thought. This'll suck. But, Boolah and I went and watched it anyway, mostly cause I hadn't hung out with Boolah for like three weeks, Anyway, long story short, it didn't suck. In fact, I got a big kick out of it. Sure, there are flaws (the ending is a HUGE cop-out, and the love interest is painfully tacked on), but overall, the bizareness is all there, the humor's there, and the acting is really good (that guy from the Office plays the lead, and is perfect for the role). But the best part is that my boys at JIM HENSON's Creature Shop did the monsters for the film. Those guys are the Best! So, if you're a Muppethead like I am, the movie's worthwhile for that alone (hell, that's why I watched "Brotherhood of the Wolf"...). I'm not saying that it'll be to every taste, but check it all the same. Recommended.

On an unrelated side note, what's up with the Spanish comment on my last blog entry? Was that dude saying the blog's alright or that it sucks or was he even talking about my blog? Anyone out there speak Spanish?