Caveman

So, on a good day, I tend to think of myself as something of an intellectual. After all, I'm fairly open minded, I read stuff, I look for the true meanings behind things, ect, ect. But every so often I'll come across something that will remind me of what a knuckle dragging Caveman I am. This happened alot through High School and my brief stint in College when I'd have to read something for a class, and more often than not I found myself thinking, "What is this boring crap?" Which was funny considering it was usually a great work of literature that was boring me stupid.

So a few weeks/months back, my buddy Boolah tells me about a movie he's heard about called "Primer". According to his description, it was a low budget film about two guys who go back in time to get their past selves, bring them to the present, and make them do their work. Sounds hi-larious, right? Yeah, well, keep reading.

I rented the aforementioned "Primer" the other day and watched it last night. My Quick Review of Primer: Huh? Seriously, I have no idea what the hell was going on in this film at all. Now, admittedly, I did have a headache last night, but all in all, I couldn't follow the film at all. The dialouge sounded like mumbo jumbo. And although the film is about time travel, I couldn't wrap my brain around how their time travel worked or what the hell it did. In fact, after awhile the film became (from my perspective) a series of pointless scenes with no context.

Now, I'd like to state that I don't think there was really anything wrong with Primer. I'm just pretty sure I'm too damn dumb to get it, because there's something there, under the skin of that movie. I think.

In other news, in my dream last night, my Brother's three legged cat (who, appropriately enough, is named Gimpy) beat the crap out of a very large Raccoon. Right. Now, back to my cave.

The Broodwhich

On Tuesday and Wednesday nights I hang out at a Gaming Store called Wild Wolf (have I mentioned I'm a Geek addicted to Strategy Games?). Recently, the store changed locations and added a restaraunt called "Ami's Kitchen". On the menu at Ami's Kitchen are a number of food items named after the Gaming Store's various clientelle (again, the Cactus Joe Chili rules!). My buddy Boolah gave them an idea for a sandwhich, which in turn transformed into a mighty challenge.

Here's the Mighty Boolah Challenge: One Burger, consisting of two massive beef patties, three kinds of cheese, a fried egg, onions, lettuce, tomato, barbecue sause, all piled onto a massive, specially made bun and served with a bowl of chili in a bread bowl. The meal costs $10 and if you can eat it in an hour without vomiting, you get your next one free.

So, last week, I watched my buddy Troy eat this thing. Troy is a big guy. 6'7" and not even remotely svelte, Troy's a tank of a man. I watched him eat this thing. He completed it with about three minutes to spare, he looked GREEN for several minutes during the challenge, and to say he unleashed some wicked gas both during and after would be an understatement (if this is grossing you out now, wait till I get to the end of this story).

So, last night, my Bro, Ryan, and this guy that hangs out at the store and annoys everybody, named Carl, decide to take the challenge at the same time. (Side note: I ain't taking the damn challenge cause I know my limits. And I don't eat egg.) Money is paid, food is served, and they're off. In the first fifteen minutes, Bro has destroyed most of the burger and a sizable chunk of the chili, as well as a portion of the bread bowl. I'm thinking, geez, he's got it made. What I didn't know was that Bro had just hit the wall, hard. Bro finished the Burger, leaving only a few scraps of bread and lettuce, and moved onto the chili. Carl, who I never figured to be a heavy eater, also downed his buger in about fifteen minutes. Jeez, I thought to myself, apparently this isn't so difficult.

Yeah, right. The next 45 minutes were pure agony for both contestants. Bro got to the point where he was eating a small piece of Bread Bowl every ten minutes. Carl in the meantime, started bragging. "I can down a bowl of chili no matter how full I am," or "I think I'll order one of those Cinamon rolls afterwords". (Note: the cinamon rolls are HUGE) But every so often, if you looked at Carl, his face looked frickin' awful (well, more so than usual anyway). With five minutes on the clock, Bro had three scraps of Bread Bowl and the little bits of sandwhich left, and it was obvious that he just wasn't gonna pull it off. Carl had only two little strips of bread bowl left, but the dude was looking seriously, seriously wrong.

Then it happened. With only two strips left and three minutes on the clock, Carl unceremoniously upchucked a decent portion of his meal right back into his soup bowl, right on top of the last bit he had to eat. Ewwwww. Bro didn't hurl, but he couldn't finish either. The Boolah Challenge had claimed two victims in one night. Yeesh.

Closer Lock Shuffle

Man, I'm still trying to sort out the string of nonsense dreams I had last night. I can remember bits and pieces of things, most noteably a bunch of Disneyesque forest animals feuding with a bunch of jungle animals over water. Apparently a river had dried up or something. I don't get it.

Watched "Closer" last night. Ugh. Adapted from a stage play of the same name (which is obvious, in fact there are so few cinematic elements to this flick that it's almost like you're watching a damn play) Closer is your typical story of four people in relationships who spend all of their time screwing each other over and making each other miserable. All the sex is off screen, and the film tries (and fails) to make up for it with copious amounts of dirty talk. Jude Law plays Jude Law (smarmy British charming asshole in other words), Julia Roberts is in full on Frigid Bitch mode, and Natalie Portman is undeniably cute, but lacks the acting chops to bring any real depth to her character. The only person worth watching is Clive Owen, who actually lives up to all the hype everyone's been giving him for the past two years. That dude can act. Otherwise, this one's a yawner, in my opinion.

In less cerebral news, watched the TNA: Lockdown PPV on Sunday. TNA, for those of you unintiated, is the only true competition that the WWE has left in the wrestling world (and frankly, calling them competition is a bit of a stretch). The gimmick for the night was that all of the matches were held in a six sided Wrestling Ring surrounded by a Steel Cage. Nice idea, decent execution. Long story short, this one TNA PPV was head and shoulders better than anything the WWE has produced since Chris Benoit lost the World Title last year. Highlights included the jaw dropping X Division match, the gravity defying America's Most Wanted vs. Team Canada match, Raven vs. Jeff Hardy in a tables match, and the great Christopher Daniels vs. Elix Skipper match. But the real show was the main event pitting AJ Styles vs. some guy called Abyss. Styles is the real deal, and every time I see him perform I get more respect for the guy. In fact, that's TNAs only real problem, they put too much faith in has beens (like TNA champ Jeff Jarrett) and not enough in truly outstanding wrestlers like Styles and Daniels. Maybe they'll figure that out soon...

Do the Hustle

Despite the 40 degree temperature drop, slate grey skies, and super killer winds, nothing was keeping me home on Saturday, cause I had two missions. 1) Catch a Matinee of "Kung fu Hustle", and 2) Score some tomatillos and Cilantro from Martin's IGA in Effingham (It's pretty sad that I have to dry 45 minutes just to get fresh Cilantro...).

"Kung fu Hustle" is the mutant love child of Flying Kung fu and Chuck Jones cartoons. And it's not a parody or a send up of the subject matter (like the rancid "Kung Pow"), instead its an offbeat yet loving homage to its progenitors. From start to finish the movie is laden with bizarre characters (just wait till you see who most of the Ultimate Kung fu Masters turn out to be), unusual moments (the main villians aren't just snazzy dressers, they like to do dance routines in their off time), silly gags (don't wanna ruin these, just keep your eyes peeled for a hi-arious footrace midway through the film), and crazed martial arts mayhem (Which somehow manages to be both serious and silly at the same time). If you can get down with the vibe of this flick, then it'll rock your socks off. If you can't, then you probably went to watch "Guess Who" and are probably reading the wrong blog. (Course, if you did watch "Guess Who" and are a regular reader of this blog, then I profusely apologize. Really.)

Huh. Y'know, besides watching the Hong Kong based "Hustle" this weekend, I scored two anime (Samurai Shamploo Vol. 2 (see the review in the blog archives) which is quite enjoyable, despite the fact that the swordplay is toned down alot in this volume, and "Mouse" Vol 1, which is pretty much just a fun little show about a world class theif and his three ridiculously overendowed female assistants. Have I mentioned I'm a Pig lately?) and three manga (Ultimate Muscle vols 1 & 2, not for every taste, but I'm a wrestling fan, and GTO vol 17, I'm trying to get caught up on this excellent series). Which beggars the age old question, are all of the truly good ideas coming from the East? Has Western culture homogenized itself to the point where only foreign imports hold any interest? Sure, we get the occasional movie (Sin City), or comic (Seven Soldiers) that's a barn burner, but they're becoming fewer and farther between. Something to ponder...

Quick Review: House of Flying Daggers

Ah, Chinese Kung fu movies. In fact, not just Chinese Kung fu movies, but Flying Chinese Kung fu movies. I dig em. Maybe not quite as much as Japanese samurai movies, but I dig em all the same. So, with that bias in mind, what's my opinion of the newly released on DVD "House of Flying Daggers"? Not bad, not bad at all.

The plot involves two central characters, Mei, a young, blind Dancer/Martial Artist who is also a member of a Robin Hoodesque anti-government group known as the House of Flying Daggers, and Jin, a skilled Martial Artist and Government Agent who is attempting to use Mei to infiltrate the House in order to destroy it once and for all. Sounds simple? Not hardly, as an almost continuous series of plot twists keep you on your toes throughout the film. In addition, the slow build up of the relationship between Mei and Jin is also well handled, and characterization is solid throughout, despite the numerous twists and turns.

Obviously, the visuals are to die for. The director and cinematographer don't know the meaning of the words "bland scene". Everything is bold and beautiful in this film, even a snowstorm becomes a madcap flurry. The handful of action scenes are typically balletic, and Flying Daggers ain't just a clever name, as Knives, Swords, and Arrows dart across the screen, seemingly with an intelligence all their own.

If you're not into the relative absurdities of Flying Kung fu, then this film will annoy you in the same way other of these types of movies probably annoyed you. For example, in one scene, a seemingly endless army of Government Soldiers bound, monkey like through the treetops of a bamboo forest while hurling makeshift bamboo spears. A lotta people can't hang with that level of absurdity, so be forewarned.

Despite all the seeming praise, I gotta admit, something's missing from House of Flying Daggers. Maybe it's that the film feels a little too short, or maybe that the fight scenes lack a certain degree of impact, or maybe the multiple plot twists hurt the characterizations more than I'm letting on. Regardless, House does seem to fall a little short compared to other Flying Kung fu films I've viewed. Still, it is definately worth checking out for the dazzling visuals and the artful fights. Reccommended. Are there two Cs in recommended?

Bread Bowl

Stinkin' Ads. Dirty rotten ads in comics. I am freakin sick to death of ads in comics! For the last month, every time I buy a DC comic I get innundated with ads. And not just little one pagers, I'm talking double page spreads advertising for video games that I'm not even remotely interested in. It completely screws up the flow of the comic, and I'm sick of it. And the worst part is, that every freakin DC comic I've bought for the last month has had an 8 Page Insert about the new Matrix Online Game. EIGHT PAGES! And, frankly, I'm not that big of a fan of the Matrix series (the first one woulda been good if not for Keanu, while the next two were raging botch jobs). I don't get it, DC is owned by AOL/Time Warner, and the only reason they exist is to provide life support for the potentially lucrative superheroes that DC owns. So why the crap do we need alla these damn ads! Gyah!

On a side note, despite this rant, if you're looking for a good read, "Klarion the Witch Boy #1" (part of the Seven Soldiers line I've been talking about extensively) and "Otherworld #2" are out. Both are exceptional reads, highly recommended.

In totally unrelated news, the owners of the local game store have opened a restaraunt and named their Chili after me. So, if you're ever in Olney, Il, stop by Ami's Cafe and order the Cactus Joe Chili in a Bread Bowl. It rocks almost as much as SDF. (snickersnicker, that was so lame)

Priorities, Priorities

Welp, with SPACE done, it's time to take a little break and figure out what all I've gotta do to survive the month. For starters, my house payment is in the mail, which should prevent me from having to live in a cardboard box for another month. Speaking of the house, I am way, WAY overdue to clean that place up, so that's something I'll have to do this weekend. My yard has become something of a jungle as well, so I have to contend with that.

On the comic front, SDF: Perfect/Ugly is done, and has been for a little while. And although I'm certainly not rolling in the dough, I think I have enough saved up to take this issue to the printers next weekend. This weekend I need to redo the Front Cover of Perfect/Ugly, because I'm painfully dissatisfied with my original cover. Also, if I can get a few pages completed on the next issue I'd be a happy man as well.

If I get the chance I want to rent "House of Flying Daggers" and "What the Bleep Do We Know?" this weekend.

SPACE Reviews, Part 2

Bizobo the Chimp: Stuff Blows Up- (Charles Goren, Kyle Albert, and Lisa Steward/ www.NoNamePress.com ) A sci-fi story about a wandering crew of misfits (most noteably the Man/Chimp from the title) who get into trouble while hanging out at a space station. The art's a little crude, but there's an undeniable passion to the work. With a little time this book could easily go from interesting to excellent.

Band on the Sun- (Rob Schamberger & Duane Cunningham/ Swillhound Studios/ www.bandonthesun.com)- A series of shorts about a rock band whose lead singer is also a secret agent. Slick, cartoony art with a solid sense of design throughout. Also, one of the few books that was almost full color. The best part of the book is the opening story, which is a very entertaining take on the infamous Spinal Tap Drummer gag.

The Hip Mortician #2, Mike Spike the Punk Rock Skeleton, and Three Men & a Brain Special- (Mark Plaid/ Ghoul Stomper) The Hip Mortician is easily the funniest mini-comic about Homoerotic Necrophilia I've ever seen. Mike Spike is too short to even bother commenting on. Three Men and a Brain, on the other hand, is excellent. A very, very funny series of shorts about three punk rockers and the alien brain that lives with them. Great stuff, my only complaint is that the lettering can be too small at times.

Election 2020 and The Constant Dilemma- (Kris Lachowski- Mean Goat) Forget about the Constant Dilemma, the Important One here is Election 2020. Election 2020 is a well thought out, interesting well executed mini-comic dealing with the last election, and the author's decision to run for President as an Independant in 2020. Great, ambitious work. Very Impressive.

Delusional Dispatch- (Karl Kressbach/ Mental Note Press) The first third of this book is an interesting little pantomime strip, the second third is a stream of consciousness series of shorts, and the third third is a series of Angry Left Wing/Hippie/Liberal Political Cartoons. Regardless of whether or not you agree with the politics of this little book, you gotta admit, the minimalist art style is absolutely beautiful. Mr. Kressbach can do amazing things with very few lines. Good stuff.

Jape #9- (Sean Bieri) A series of gag strips. A chuckled a few times.

Melby Comics- (www.melbycomics.com) There wasn't much here to review. A decent gag strip.

PopeLand #9- (Matt & Nick) The premise is the best part of this book. A guy and a panda travel to the Vatican, which has now been transformed into a theme park called PopeLand. Not bad.

Zephyr and Reginald: Minions for Hire in "The Perils of Alternative Energy Girl and The Untimely Demise of Cold Shoulder"- (Rick Siva & Gynn Stella- www.dandelionstudios.com) Another great premise, namely, two minions, Zephyr and Reginald, work for various supervillians, building death traps and killer rayguns and whatnot. This series works best when the creators have the time to stretch out and really develop their premise. As such, "Untimely Demise" is very funny and highly recommended, while "Perils" came across as kinda short and lackluster.

Free Pulp #2 and 3: See Dick Die and March of 10000 Undead Gabors- (Duane Cunningham and Michelle Arcand, Kyle Strahm/ www.voidpulp.com) See Dick Die is a funny little short about a jerk who dies, and the comedy that results. March of blahblah is an incredibly well drawn short about a trio of Scottish warriors battling an army of Undead Zsa Zsa Gabors. Yep. Both issues contain a sorta funny, well drawn Cletus the Fetus short. I apologize for not including the creator info on Cletus. Sorry.

And that is that. Hopefully I've spread the word on a few other small press folk.

SPACE Reviews, Part One

I'm gonna review as many Comics, Minis, and Zines from SPACE as I can afore I go to work. In all cases, I will include the Title, Creators, and Websites if that info is present in the comic. I'm NOT including Mailing Addresses or e-mail addresses, cause that just doesn't seem like the thing to do. Before we get started, two quick orders of business...

First off, a big thank you to everyone who bought or traded for a copy of my work. I hope you enjoy SDF, and even if you don't, your support of TORC Press means everything to this nobody creator from the sticks.

Secondly, a Big Thank You to the folks over at Pickle Press. The artist, Paul Schultz, was one of the small handful of people who bought a $5 comic off of us (in fact, he recognized us from Chicago and apparently has a sketch of Oliver Lamplighter), and Nick Havert, the writer, wrote up a really cool Haiku for me. Thanks a lot guys! Onward...

The Three Keys #1- (Pickle Press/Nick Havert, Paul Schultz, and Craig Deboard/ www.picklepress.net) -Speaking of Pickle Press...This is a fun fantasy book, detailing the adventures of a Wizard, Thief, and Elf and their attempts to protect a caravan from bandits. The hook is that the story is told Rashomon style, or from the different perspectives of each of the characters. Interesting writing and clean, cartoony art. Good stuff all around.

Zed: Backstage Pass- (www.corkeycomics.com) A funny little series of strips about Talking Dryer Lint. This would feel right at home in a newspaper's funnies section. But, seriously, whoever did this shoulda put his name on it.

PanGea Preview- (James V. West/ www.apecomics.com) A short pantomime story about a barbarian girl in the jungle. I like the art a lot, it reminds of a number of different cartoonists without being an imitation of anything.

Ozone Jones- 24 Hour Comic and Last House on the Block- (Michelangelo Cicerone)- A fun little story about a superpowered boy and his adventures, "The Last House on the Block" features some great usage of blacks. The 24 Hour comic is interesting, but it obviously gets rushed near the end.

Mission X-Odous & 3 Guys with Fake IDs- (3 Guys with Glasses/ CB Adkins & Keith Stidham) Mission X-Odous is a very, very ambitious sci-fi story set in a very developed futuristic world. Given time to breathe, this story has a ton of potential. The art's not bad, but a little hard to follow at times. Again, with time, this could be really good stuff. 3 Guys with Fake IDs is a quick, funny read about a Role Playing group and the antics surrounding their games.

Dragon Mythologist- Adrienne Westmoreland- This Zine doesn't really have a story, instead it uses clip art and text to study Dragons throughout history and myth. Pretty interesting stuff.

White Walrus- Thomas Laitinen- This is like "Lobo" on crack! A monstrous, muscle bound anti-hero named the White Walrus runs around beating up hippies and protecting Seal Clubbers and Oil Drillers. Funny parody stuff, the real draw of this series is the excellente artwork. Really smooth, clean linework throughout, and decent storytelling. Nice, very anti-PC.

Lisa #15, The Big Vacation- (Aaron/ Ancient Wisdom Comics) One of the guys who we spent a little time hanging out with was Aaron, a genuinely nice, outgoing fella. His two minis he traded me are crazy, manic works crammed full of spastic drawings, jumbled text, and clip art. In other words, entertaining, fun stuff.

The Mummette- (Various)- Aaron also gave me this mini, which I believe is a Jam comic. It's a funny little bit about a mummy hitting on a couple of zombie gals. Not sure who did what though.

Welp, out of time. More reviews tommorrow!

I'm Back From Outer SPACE

I have returned to the land of Lincoln, baby! Here's a rundown on the trip:

The drive was alright, about six hours total. (Fun Fact: It almost takes me as long to drive to Chicago as it does to drive to Colombus, OH) Scenery was decent, as Bro would say, "It's just more of Illinois". We ate at a White Castle somewhere in Indiana. A White Castle Pepperjack Burger is pretty good, and so are the Onion Chips. Not long after we checked into the Holiday Inn Columbus East, we set off for the Laughing Ogre and the pre-show gathering.

The Laughing Ogre RULES! And no, I'm not just sucking up because they gave us free pizza and pop. It's a nice, climate controlled, spacious shop that sells a wide variety of comics both mainstream and obscure. I bought $40 worth of stuff in ten minutes. I shudder to think how much money I'd have dropped if I really went exploring. Oh, and the staff were really nice and personable, nothing like some of the surly shopkeeps I've encountered in my travels.

The Pre-show get together was okay. I met some people, shook some hands, and drew Tea Cup and King Smooth on this big, double sided board the Bob Corby (the guy who runs the show) brought in for everyone to draw on. Unlike everyone else, I shamelessly plugged my book in my sketch. I'm kinda kicking myself that I didn't shake more hands and whatnot, but I've never exactly been a social butterfly.

SPACE was alright. I didn't sell like gangbusters, but I didn't totally tank either. The quarter comics moved the best (gee, big surprise...), I sold, traded, and gave away w/purchase all of em, and I got rid of the rest of my stickers. The main books didn't move very well, but frankly $5 was just a little pricey at this con. In addition, I'm not sure if the content of my book really suited this con. It is my curse: too mainstream for the underground, too underground for the mainstream. My only real complaint about the con was that my booth was stuck in the far corner. Kinda a sucky location. Oh well, no big.

To celebrate a solid day, me and Bro braved the horrors of Yuppieville to eat at Figlio's Wood Fired Pizza. Despite the Yuppies and Well to Dos being everywhere (we were far too scummy for that place), the Za was great and very unusual. A real treat for a pair of gormands like us.

After Blueberry Pancakes at Bob Evans, we made a straight burn on home. Tommorrow: I'll review most, if not all, of the comics, minis, and zines I scored at the Con. Rock.

Wish Us Luck

This time tommorrow Brother Buzz and I will be on the road to Glorious Ohio. Rock. There's still a handful of things that have to be completed between point A and point Z (including 8 more grueling hours of work), but all in all I think I'm about as prepared as I'm a gonna get.

Obviously, since I'm gonna be gone, the website/this blog won't see updates until at least Monday morning. Hopefully, if things go well, I'll have plenty to report on the 2005 Small Press Alternative Comics Expo. And if things don't go so well, I'll probably just curl up into the fetal position and mutter curse words for a couple of days. No biggie either way.

Space Case

The sketches are done. Took me the entirety of my free time, but they're done. I've got a full pen and ink drawing of every single major TORC Press character that has or will appear in SDF for the next year or so. A couple of characters may have got left out (Xavier Mystery unfortunately didn't make the cut, maybe next time big guy...), but all in all, they're all there.

Tonight I buy supplies and get my allergy shot.

Oh, before I forget, the check I sent to Wizard for my Chicago table has officially been cashed! Although that doesn't guarantee me a table at Wizardworld Chicago, I'd say it does improve my chances.

In other news, my alarm clock's been screwing up lately. It keeps getting an hour ahead, which is why I'm typing this at 5am instead of 6. What up with that?

SPACE Race

A few updates on the SPACE front...

Flyers are done and printed. I've got a hundred, which should be more than enough for a small, one day Con. Frankly, flyers are only a moderately effective method of promotion, but any little bit helps, right? After all, I made sure to put my table number and website address (www.torcpress.com) on all the flyers, so maybe I score some business. Maybe not.

Also, got a new batch of t-shirts done. Again, I'm not really expecting to move any t-shirts, but if I do, than that's just icing on the cake. If I have leftover t-shirts that'll just be less to make afore Chicago anyway. I still can't believe I actually sold out of t-shirts at Chicago last year (course, I only brought three or four t-shirts with me...).

All I've got left to do is 1) Call up the hotel to request a late check-in, 2) Finish up the mountain of sketches that I'm working on, and 3) Procure some cash. The sketches are the only foreseeable problem, cause I try to do the best work I can on em, which takes time. Time is a luxury I ain't got right now.

In other news, while I was working on sketches for the Con last night, I was also watching more of Tatonato's "Carnivale" DVDs. Wooo! The mysteries are the main hook for me (just when you think you've got one thing figured out, something comes along and blows your entire perspective out of the water), but I gotta admit, the characters are quickly developing into more than just colorful Carney folk. Our heroes ain't all squeaky clean (Even the Man from Another Place displays his dark side in a couple of episodes), and our "villian" (or is he really the villian? Hmmmm....) isn't some foul, unredeemable beast (or at least not at first). I especially enjoyed the Babylon episodes (Was it a coincidence that the Babylon episode was Number 5?) because of their truly dark, supernatural nature. Gotta watch more.

DVDathon

So, my DVD player's busted, and I'm sick of VHS. So, I do the sensible thing, run to Wallyworld, and score a DVD adapter for my XBox. First thing out of the starting gate I try to watch my newly acquired DVD of Troma's latest schlockorama "Tales from the Crapper". I'm three quarters of the way through one of the absolute worst greatest movies of all time, when the DVD goes to crap on me. At first I think my XBox has joined my DVD player in the scrapheap, but after a careful examination of the "Tales" DVD, I notice a big, nasty scratch running across it. Once again, I swear I will never buy a Used DVD ever again. Onward.

I pop in "CZW: Scarred". CZW, or Combat Zone Wrestling, is the bastard love child of ECW, the Japanese Death Matches, and Backyard Wrestling. The only wrestler on the DVD that I had heard of before was Mad Man Pondo, a wrestler who originally hailed from Flora, IL (fifteen minutes up the road) and used to work in the McDonalds and Pizza Hut in said town. His ex-wife and Pizza Hut manager, Lady Vendetta, still works the local wrestling circuit. CZW's thing is that it tries to be the most violent work of wrestling ever. Every match on the DVD involved lightbulbs. Lots of lightbulbs. Being smashed over people's heads and backs. Then there other extra touches like barbed wire and a weed whacker (yep, an actual, working weed whacker). Whereas the WWE currently suffers from too much of a focus on Drama and not enough on Wrestling and Hardcore Brawling, CZW focuses too much on Hardcore Brawling and not enough on Drama and Wrestling. As a result, after the initial shock value wears off, the DVD quickly becomes intensely boring. Frankly, there are only so many times you can see a guy break lightbulbs across another guys back before you just wish someone would hit someone else with a damn wrestling move. Ugh.

So, after two disappointments, I pop in "Carnivale", which I borrowed off Tate (word up to my homie). Carnivale is one of them there HBO series everyone's talking about, and for good reason. I've only watched the first two episodes, and I'm already hooked. It's not enough that the series damn well drips with mystery, entrigue, enigma, and pathos, but in addition it's got The Man From Another Place, the Know it All Lesbo from the Faculty, and the fucking KURGAN in the cast. Great show. I've gotta save up some money and purchase this one sometime.

Down to the Wire

Alright, Cats and Kittens, I've got one week before SPACE, let's see what we got to do.

1) The Table: Check. We're paid up, and our number is G33. Rock.
2) The Hotel: Sorta Check. Reservations are good to go, but I need to call the hotel to see if I can get a late check in.
3) The Car: Check. Far as I know the Beast is running as close to tip top as it can.
4) The Comic: Check. I've got lots of copies of SDF: Crumpled Planet and Strange Patterns, and I've got about 48 or so copies of SDF: Space Cadet.
5) The Banner: Check. I'm using the same banner for the front of my table that I used at Chicago and will probably use the same banner at every Con for the next 5 or 6 years...
6) T-Shirts: No Check. Gotta pick those up.
7) Ohio Transient Business License: Check. Got it in the mail yesterday.
8) Flyers: No Check. Gotta design my flyers and print em still. Crap.
9) Time off Work: Big Check. One of the few perks of having your Father as your Employer.
10) Positive Mental Attitude: Check. I'm feeling like I could take on Godzilla right now.

Just a few things to do, and I'm good to go.

Insert Title Here

Not a huge amount worth Blogging about at the moment.

Sent out the freebie comics to various locales yesterday. Not sure when they'll arrive at their destination.

Shonen Jump finally came out. Not a bad issue, but the promised conclusion to the One Piece story arc didn't happen, so it looks like I'll have to look at Don Krieg's ugly mug for another issue. Oh, and the preview for Dr. Slump was sufficiently wacky. It's really quite amazing how much Akira Toriyama's art style changed from Dr. Slump to Dragonball.

G33

In important news, my table number for SPACE is G33. Whether this is a good number that will place me in a high traffic area, or a bad number that will place me in a misbegotten corner of the room is as yet unknown, but regardless of where we're at, we here at TORC Press are determined to live up to our motto, "Sell the living hell out of a comic no one really wants to buy". Or was our motto, "Begging for leftover hotel food is really not that bad"? Can't remember... Anyway, me and Bro will be in attendance, shilling copies of SDF: Crumpled Planet and Strange Patterns, as well as the convention exclusive mini, Space Cadet. Should be fun.

Originally, I was gonna do a rant on how disappointed I was in Wrestlemania this year. But why bother? The WWE has had its head up its ass for so long it probably doesn't understand anything beyond its colon nowadays. Feh.

The Town Without Pity

Way back in the Stone Age, when Dinosaurs ruled, and Aliens were still tinkering with our DNA, I was a sixteen year old comic dork exploring the realms beyond superhero comics. I loved superhero comics (still do, by the by), but I also knew that there was so much out there beyond the superhero (still is, by the by). Enter "Sin City", Frank Miller's brash, brazen, rough and tumble bobsled ride into a black and white hell. The only people who wore tights in Sin City were the hookers, and the only morality was whatever could be carved out in bullets. This was my gateway to the world beyond, and, man oh man did it ever change my perspective.

A few technological advancements in cell phone technology later, and now we've got a "Sin City" movie. The results are, in a word, stunning. It's all here, crammed into a tightly packed two hour bundle, all the bullets, blood, boobs, rage, scraped knuckles, and full on insanity of the comics, all up on the big screen, drained down to only the most primal of colors. Director Robert Rodriguez ain't got time to pussyfoot around here, he adapts three of Miller's books without apology or regret. Of the three (the Original Sin City story which I think they've retitled "The Long Goodbye", "The Big Fat Kill", and "That Yellow Bastard"), "The Long Goodbye" works best onscreen. It seems to have the most time to breathe and strecth out, and quite frankly, Mickey Rourke damn near explodes as a pitch perfect Marv (also, big kudos to Elijah Wood as Kevin the Killer...). The story just seems to play out best at the whiz bang pacing of the flick. Admittedly, "Big Fat Kill" and "Bastard" both loose a little bit of something at this breakneck pace. I almost wish Rodriguez had about thirty more minutes to let those stories breathe a little more as well. Still, it's all there, and it was pretty damn cool to watch the entire audience squirm during the last ten minutes of "Bastard".

Visually, the movie is utterly stunning. I could ramble on and on about the stark black and whites, the brief color plays, the white-outesque blood, and all the rest (watch the eyes on the chicks...), but why bother? The visuals speak for themselves. Great, beautiful, kick ass flick. I'll probably watch it again this week.

If I Could Only Get to those Peanuts

The fever I've had all weeks has finally relented its grasp on me, so I'm good to go to E-ville to get my mini printed. My head is shaved, my clothes are clean, and I'm ready to rock.

Watching Sin City tonight with the gang. Hoo-Rah!

Damn Gringos

I got a soft spot for westerns. Mostly cause my Dad watched a lotta John Wayne movies when I was a kid (gotta love Big Jake), and cause I've always liked Clint Eastwood/Sergio Leone's Man with No Name series (or at least, Fist Full of Dollars and the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. Never got around to watching A Few Dollars More). The appeal of the Western is similiar to the appeal of the Samurai film (which is why several Westerns used Akira Kurasawa's movies as a template...), namely, hard men in a hard envioronment living (and usually dieing) but questionable Codes of Honor.

As far as my personal collection goes, I only own two Westerns, and they're the harshest, nastiest, dirtiest Westerns I could get my grubby little mits on: Clint Eastwood's "Unforgiven" and Sam Peckinpah's "The Wild Bunch". I watched the Wild Bunch last night. Man, that is one Dark movie. How Dark, you ask? In the opening scene, a gang of bandits (our "heroes") disguised as US Army officers, robs the payroll of a Rail Road Depot. But, the hiest is a trap, and a railroad baron, operating under the auspices of the law, and flanked by a small army of scumbag bounty hunters, are preparing to bushwhack our heroes. But things don't go as planned, and a group of Marching Prohibitionists get caught in the crossfire. Death comes in big, fat buckets, and by the time it's done, the only moral the filmmaker seems to be clueing us into is this: "There are no good guys, there are no bad guys, the law is bullshit, and we're all gonna die sooner or later". Like I said, Dark.

Still, in the end, it's not all nihilism. Our boys ultimately confront an entire, well armed Mexican army just to rescue one of their own. Sure they're outgunned, but they do it anyway. So the real moral seems to be: "If you don't stick up for your friends, you ain't worth the shit you're printed on". Which is probably why I dig the flick so much.

That and it's violent as all hell.