Banditos
I don't buy evolution. There's too many loopholes, too many obvious falacies, and frankly the whole dang thing comes across as a buncha cheap answers that a buncha scientists came up with so they'd look smart to everyone else. (Now having said that, one might argue that the only reason I disagree with evolution is because I'm a Baptist. Which may be partially right. But ultimately, evolution doesn't make a whole lot of sense and has zero spiritual resonance, while Christianity doesn't make a whole lot of sense and has a great deal of spiritual resonance, not to mention the centralized theory (namely, be good to each other) is a perfectly brilliant approach to life, even if it is virtually impossible to put into practice. But I digress...) If I was gonna buy into evolution, I'd be more apt to believe that man evolved from Raccoons instead of Monkeys/Apes/whathaveyou. Think about it. Raccoons are Greedy, Neurotic, and Surprisingly clever. Sounds a lot more like humanity than any old monkey.
(By this point, the reader should be thoroughly confused and possibly wondering how I'm going to relate Evolutionary Theory, Religion, and Raccoons back to Comics or Movies somehow. Unfortunately, this entry has nothing to do with any of that)
Back last winter, I discovered I had Raccoons under the house. My 100 year old house has a number of exposed areas underneath it which make perfect entryways for wild animals. Using these underground pathways, the Raccoons would crawl around, bang into my water pipes, scratch on things, and generally keep me awake at 2 or 3 am. To make matters worse, the damn things little tunnels gave them access to the two sealed off rooms in my house, which they proceeded to wreck and crap all over. Needless to say, I called in my father, and we went about the task of sealing up the underbelly of my house.
Since that time, I've successfully kept them out of the better majority of my house. Unfortunately, there's one place where they just keep getting in at. And thumping around. And waking me up. Which is why I'm typing this at 5am.
Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. Other days it's preferable to get out of bed than to listen to all of the scratching.
(By this point, the reader should be thoroughly confused and possibly wondering how I'm going to relate Evolutionary Theory, Religion, and Raccoons back to Comics or Movies somehow. Unfortunately, this entry has nothing to do with any of that)
Back last winter, I discovered I had Raccoons under the house. My 100 year old house has a number of exposed areas underneath it which make perfect entryways for wild animals. Using these underground pathways, the Raccoons would crawl around, bang into my water pipes, scratch on things, and generally keep me awake at 2 or 3 am. To make matters worse, the damn things little tunnels gave them access to the two sealed off rooms in my house, which they proceeded to wreck and crap all over. Needless to say, I called in my father, and we went about the task of sealing up the underbelly of my house.
Since that time, I've successfully kept them out of the better majority of my house. Unfortunately, there's one place where they just keep getting in at. And thumping around. And waking me up. Which is why I'm typing this at 5am.
Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. Other days it's preferable to get out of bed than to listen to all of the scratching.
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