The Broodwhich

On Tuesday and Wednesday nights I hang out at a Gaming Store called Wild Wolf (have I mentioned I'm a Geek addicted to Strategy Games?). Recently, the store changed locations and added a restaraunt called "Ami's Kitchen". On the menu at Ami's Kitchen are a number of food items named after the Gaming Store's various clientelle (again, the Cactus Joe Chili rules!). My buddy Boolah gave them an idea for a sandwhich, which in turn transformed into a mighty challenge.

Here's the Mighty Boolah Challenge: One Burger, consisting of two massive beef patties, three kinds of cheese, a fried egg, onions, lettuce, tomato, barbecue sause, all piled onto a massive, specially made bun and served with a bowl of chili in a bread bowl. The meal costs $10 and if you can eat it in an hour without vomiting, you get your next one free.

So, last week, I watched my buddy Troy eat this thing. Troy is a big guy. 6'7" and not even remotely svelte, Troy's a tank of a man. I watched him eat this thing. He completed it with about three minutes to spare, he looked GREEN for several minutes during the challenge, and to say he unleashed some wicked gas both during and after would be an understatement (if this is grossing you out now, wait till I get to the end of this story).

So, last night, my Bro, Ryan, and this guy that hangs out at the store and annoys everybody, named Carl, decide to take the challenge at the same time. (Side note: I ain't taking the damn challenge cause I know my limits. And I don't eat egg.) Money is paid, food is served, and they're off. In the first fifteen minutes, Bro has destroyed most of the burger and a sizable chunk of the chili, as well as a portion of the bread bowl. I'm thinking, geez, he's got it made. What I didn't know was that Bro had just hit the wall, hard. Bro finished the Burger, leaving only a few scraps of bread and lettuce, and moved onto the chili. Carl, who I never figured to be a heavy eater, also downed his buger in about fifteen minutes. Jeez, I thought to myself, apparently this isn't so difficult.

Yeah, right. The next 45 minutes were pure agony for both contestants. Bro got to the point where he was eating a small piece of Bread Bowl every ten minutes. Carl in the meantime, started bragging. "I can down a bowl of chili no matter how full I am," or "I think I'll order one of those Cinamon rolls afterwords". (Note: the cinamon rolls are HUGE) But every so often, if you looked at Carl, his face looked frickin' awful (well, more so than usual anyway). With five minutes on the clock, Bro had three scraps of Bread Bowl and the little bits of sandwhich left, and it was obvious that he just wasn't gonna pull it off. Carl had only two little strips of bread bowl left, but the dude was looking seriously, seriously wrong.

Then it happened. With only two strips left and three minutes on the clock, Carl unceremoniously upchucked a decent portion of his meal right back into his soup bowl, right on top of the last bit he had to eat. Ewwwww. Bro didn't hurl, but he couldn't finish either. The Boolah Challenge had claimed two victims in one night. Yeesh.