Hellman McGuillicutty
Time and time again, I say to myself, I not gonna let my friends drag to a movie that I know is going to be crap. And yet, time and time again, I find myself sitting in a theatre (usually in Effingham, a town I'd rather not visit anymore than I just have to) wishing that the theatre would catch fire so that maybe I could escape from the boredom without feeling like I'd wasted my money.
So, there I was. I'd just had one of the worst weeks ever, and it looked like the weekend wasn't going to be an improvement. I had two choices: Lounge around my house unable to breathe through a nose that was sealed shut and unable to breath deeply through my mouth for fear of starting a violent coughing fit, or I could go with my buddies to Effingham, watch "Constantine", and maybe kinda ignore how cruddy I felt. Not surprisingly, I picked the latter.
And, truth be told, I had a good time all things considered. Sure, my face felt like it was being crushed by a vice, I couldn't breathe through my nose, and I coughed alot (although not super violently, mostly cause I was making a concerted effort to control it), and Brooks definately asked me if I was gonna make it a couplea times. But still, it was a fun enough night. Unfortunately, the same can't be said for "Constantine".
Frankly, I have seen worse. There's always the "Chronicles of Riddick" or "Aliens vs. Predator" after all. And I could go on and on about how the movie had virtually nothing to do with the comic, how bad an actor Keanu is, the chemistry-less romantic subpl0t, or how the Devil was easily the worst Devil in long history of movie Devils (and yes, that includes George Burns). No, the best way to describe "Constantine" is this way: It was an hour an half of sheer boredom leading up to the single most anti-climatic ending I think I've ever seen. Yep.
It's worth mentioning that several of the other theatre goers that I overhead on my way out seemed to enjoy it, so, hey, what do I know?
So, there I was. I'd just had one of the worst weeks ever, and it looked like the weekend wasn't going to be an improvement. I had two choices: Lounge around my house unable to breathe through a nose that was sealed shut and unable to breath deeply through my mouth for fear of starting a violent coughing fit, or I could go with my buddies to Effingham, watch "Constantine", and maybe kinda ignore how cruddy I felt. Not surprisingly, I picked the latter.
And, truth be told, I had a good time all things considered. Sure, my face felt like it was being crushed by a vice, I couldn't breathe through my nose, and I coughed alot (although not super violently, mostly cause I was making a concerted effort to control it), and Brooks definately asked me if I was gonna make it a couplea times. But still, it was a fun enough night. Unfortunately, the same can't be said for "Constantine".
Frankly, I have seen worse. There's always the "Chronicles of Riddick" or "Aliens vs. Predator" after all. And I could go on and on about how the movie had virtually nothing to do with the comic, how bad an actor Keanu is, the chemistry-less romantic subpl0t, or how the Devil was easily the worst Devil in long history of movie Devils (and yes, that includes George Burns). No, the best way to describe "Constantine" is this way: It was an hour an half of sheer boredom leading up to the single most anti-climatic ending I think I've ever seen. Yep.
It's worth mentioning that several of the other theatre goers that I overhead on my way out seemed to enjoy it, so, hey, what do I know?
1 Comments:
Easily led masses, my friend. Easily led masses. And the fact that for some reason, chics still dig Keanass. Oops, I just realized I have some eBay stuff to mail off.
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